Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML
Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML
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Top comments
NuTrees 9
That's when you use your skills to get back into the house. You know up the tree, onto the ledge... You know!
Damn_Hippster 11
That's some Indian Jones shit right there. I wouldn't even care about the keys as long as at least one person saw that.
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Comments (116)
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
Nice one, douchebag.
suxs4ulol 22
How does that make him a douchebag? he seems like a ninja in training to me.
miz_kamakazi 11
Reminds me of the movie, "get smart" Or maybe the show, "Mr. Bean"
ladyLALAA 29
Wow you are so funny -.-'
ladyLALAA 29
This was directed at 3. Thumb me down bitches
Awesome_Guy2468 0
Douchebag? Either u have the wrong fml or you don't know what douchebag means
NuTrees 9
That's when you use your skills to get back into the house. You know up the tree, onto the ledge... You know!
iCake 13
Love your profile pic
leogirl95 12
Ninja!! Oh wait...
yahoowizard 16
(continued)...ninjas don't need keys to get into a house
XxgreymoonxX 8
Do a barrel roll :D
GrammarTeacher 1
Does no one know what a barrel roll is?! Christ it is rolling on your side I.E. the motion made while actually rolling in a barrel.. Not what OP claims to have done
ClassyCommando 13
Killjoy.
Link5794 18
Actually, a barrel roll is a spiral whose axis is some distance from the top of the plane.
lovertolover 4
Come on people. Admit it, we've all done this before.
ClassyCommando 13
I haven't. I lock the door when I leave so I have to take the key with me. Am I the only person who does this?
lovertolover 4
Car keys, they meant car keys.
ClassyCommando 13
Oh... I blame OP for poor FML composition.
lovertolover 4
Fair enough.
dumboears 8
But most time people keep their house key on their car key key chain. So I'm assuming he also locked himself out?
TheCarChanel 0
I raised the sensors on mine just for that reason
neal001 0
PEOPLE GRAMMAR NAZI ALERT NUMBER 17
Llama_Face89 34
I haven't...I'm not that agile...the key thing though. That I've done.
sheethapins 13
True, I ninja all over the place all the time.
onlychildFTW 34
My garage door is so old it has no sensor. So it's less pro when I go rollin on the floor :( hahahaha
girl112891 7
I fall side ways mid roll, so no, haven't done it. Not successfully anyway. :,( I'm never getting my ninja badge!
thesoccerone7 3
I had to do this to get out of my grandma's house before. The button was by the door to the house. Makes you feel awesome when you pull it off.
Badab1ng 5
Gears of War: Daily grind edition
CVeNgineer 0
Mission impossible and Indiana jones references were cooler..
GoW_Chick 15
I liked your reference
GoW_Chick 15
Edit: I liked your reference, then again it is my favorite game, so that might be why.
Badab1ng 5
I referenced because of the head first dive. It is an amazing game, I'd agree.
ohSNAPyall 27
Totally worth it.
ohSNAPyall 27
Even without witnesses.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Heh, isn't it great when the universe shows us it's sense of humor?
girl112891 7
Makes you do a cool roll and THEN reminds you of your keys.
blick457 4
Don't forget your hat indy or in your case keys
bitchslapped22 14
It still must have been cool at least!