fffemaleee
Waterford, United States
Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Austria
Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML
Anonymous
Brighton, United States
Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML
yermom
United States
Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML
Fuck irony
Binghamton, United States
Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML
emily
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Whodunnit
Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
alo1434
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Great timing
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Shortround
Wheaton, United States
Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML
foretwintie
Canada
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
Anonymous
United States
My precious
Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML
Top comments
WCARlover 35
Reminds me of the “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness" quote:(
abNormal62 23
Have somebody dial your number and see if the ministers's pocket rings!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
Spider_fml 9
Hah, that's nothing, I once had my bible stolen at a pub.
Overlord247 20
So... a bible is worth more than a phone? Also, I'm curious as to why you would take your bible to a pub
xygen 19
#38 was trying to make a joke.
Spider_fml 9
No, the opposite: because a bible costs less than a phone, it seems less likely that it would get stolen. And I had it with me because I just came from study group. And that also shows you, Christians visit bars and thieves visit churches. Everyone is the same apparently :)
TallMist 32
"Everyone is the same." So, a person that goes to the bar is the same as a person who steals? What?
sassypenguinxox 15
Not all people who attend church are Christians and not all Christians practice their faith accordingly so it can def happen
skye147 20
THEY NEED JESUS
vikky538 29
There is a motive behind coming to church and all motives are not same.
Tander 16
Criminals go to church too.
elizacandle 29
it's OK because God will forgive them
bingalingading 12
really? they steal? how? every church I go to they ASK for an offering. they don't say "oh hey by the way you HAVE to give us money or you will never leave." they don't demand it. One has the choice to put money in the basket. By your logic, I guess Goodwill is run by a bunch of no good thieves too since they take donations. Oh and salvation army and pretty much any charity huh? yeah gtfo
Wraith09 15
Check the history of any religion. If you didn't believe what they believed, they took your home, your crops, your land, or your life. Payments to the church have in the past been enforced by the local militia, or by the churches own armies and mercenaries. They would take what you would not, or could not, give. Taking what is not yours to take, whatever the justification, is theft. Current practice has religious types telling people they can buy their way into heaven by sending money. Maybe not theft, but fraud. So yes, churches have a very long history of theft, among many other crimes.
vinnerator 7
God wanted it to have a new owner
breberry304 27
Shoutout to #45 for taking things too seriously