Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML
Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML
Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML
Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML
Today, my parents threw a hissy fit calling me ungrateful and disrespectful for wanting to do laundry and clean at home, instead of going out to their friends' house for dinner. They also disconnected the Internet to punish me when they left. I'm 20 and visiting home on a college break. FML
Today, my parents are upset that I never ask them for help with my homework and struggle with it myself. They won't accept the answer that whenever I do, they're always yelling at me and putting me down. Dad in particular can't get through one assignment without becoming a screaming tyrant about my handwriting. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
tingway 4
use google translate?
Llama_Face89 34
37- there's this exciting new thing called a "keyboard"! It actually let's you type words into the computer! Far fetched, I know but it's true!
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Comments (60)
leadman1989 16
You have TWO parents that apparently speak a variety of different languages and you ONLY speak English? F your sense of curiosity and hunger for education.
jbunch2514 0
Hey if it's in French I'll translate. But other than That your on tour own
VeganVampyre 27
I can help with German! :P
THE_A_TEEN 28
I use google teanslate a lot. I dont agree with "use google translate" since they will be writing in a different language and there is only an english keyboard, which means the symbols used in the languages wont be there and the op will be there a long, long time. So yea, Google translate wont help you there...
THE_A_TEEN 28
*Translate, Bloody typos...
chosha_fml 27
Ask your mum if she's cultured enough to translate your dad's list and vice versa.
beerankin 0
Google translate?
zombiekitten87 12
Cultured or not, neither one of them is mature.
bms1996 12
well I guess it's time to learn
TipOfTheHat 10
Ground your parents first: tell them that until they work out their cultured problem and can communicate in a language you can understand, they won't be leaving the house: be serious when you say it: they'll take notice!
RedPillSucks 33
Tell them that true cultural battles can only be solved *deep booming voice* BY MORTAL COMBAT
OfficeNinja 5
Start writing to them in a symbol based language you made up.