Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML
Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML
Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML
Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML
Today, my parents threw a hissy fit calling me ungrateful and disrespectful for wanting to do laundry and clean at home, instead of going out to their friends' house for dinner. They also disconnected the Internet to punish me when they left. I'm 20 and visiting home on a college break. FML
Today, my parents are upset that I never ask them for help with my homework and struggle with it myself. They won't accept the answer that whenever I do, they're always yelling at me and putting me down. Dad in particular can't get through one assignment without becoming a screaming tyrant about my handwriting. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
tingway 4
use google translate?
Llama_Face89 34
37- there's this exciting new thing called a "keyboard"! It actually let's you type words into the computer! Far fetched, I know but it's true!
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Comments (60)
TheRealPeter 6
That reminds me of the time I was buying beer with a mustache and I spoke italian.
TheRealPeter 6
Babada boope?
CornCob_McGee 3
He was in a butcher shop. Buying meat. Not beer. Tu se un pazzo va via di qui.
quickdog93 4
I cringe when someone uses "whom" instead of "who". Also, use google translate
flydragonpie 2
Get used to correct grammar.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
21, That whole comment is just completely wrong. Whom cannot be past tense, because neither who nor whom are verbs. Unless you wanna show me how to whom. 22, No, they meant used, which is correct.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Also, how the hell can you decide whom?
VeganVampyre 27
17- Do you also cringe when people use correct spelling or punctuation? Are you an anti-grammar Nazi or something? Fighting for world illiteracy? Or do you just really hate the word "whom" for some reason?
Ann23 7
You can learn the languages... Or you could just hope they stop fighting and they forget about the list :)
Cinn_fml 23
Online translator looks to be a good option now. Or, you could ask them to translate the key words for you, if they refuse, then I'm sure some gentle flattery about how cultured they are and if they'd educate you has a significant chance of working. Hopefully, though, you'll be able to make them see how stupid an argument it is and that essentially punishing you is a stupid way to end it.
CassieStrawbs 7
Point out how completely stupid and ridiculous they are being.
chicpea 1
You cannot even speak English very well. The word you want is 'who' not 'whom'. The former is nominative, the latter accusative. An accusative cannot govern a verb as you are attempting to do in the phrase 'whom was the most cultured'. It should be 'who was the most cultured'. That said, I feel for you: use Google Translate as everyone else has recommended.
leadman1989 16
1. Where in the FML does the op say how well they speak English. 2. Some people can speak a language and not necessarily know how to write it Chinese for example.
docscientist 10
Well, whom is a somewhat dated and uncommonly used word. I wouldn't bank someone's entire knowledge and understanding of the English language based on their ability to use "whom." At any rate, saying the phrase "to whom" seems to be the general public's extent on the usage of the word.
rexku 0
Did you ever stop to think that it could have been a simple typo? I mean, all it takes is one accidental keystroke and a person suddenly becomes incapable of using the English language? I mean seriously, come on dude. It could have been a major coincidence for all you know.
satph 12
they had a fight to find out who the most cultured was? how stupid is that?
gracetaylor 0
google it
hsRoseTyler5 14
There's an app for that.
Enslaved 38
I never had a written list growing up. My parents just verbally told me what needed to be done. My chores were the same every day of the week so I knew what to do without them telling me after a while. OP, it might be fun learning a different language or two. I learned most of my Spanish by watching ¿Qué Pasa, USA?
ironik69 31
Thank you for that clarification Enslaved. That is what I was inferring, but no one got it. I, too, just knew what was expected. Thank you again. I heart the comments of you and ikickgingers.
Enslaved 38
ironik69, I knew exactly what you meant.(: And funny enough, my comment was a reply to yours but somehow it posted way down here. Thank you for the compliment! ((((:
kittykat1501 31
Yea, it'll do that