Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and mother started supplementing my newborn son with formula, because they are such control freaks and don't like my son getting attached to me. He was doing very well while exclusively breastfed according to the doctor. But it looks like my happiness or my son's well-being is of zero importance. FML
Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, I got pissed after my boyfriend tried mansplaining breastfeeding to me. I’ve nursed two children of my own, stocked and sustained two big freezers full, and still had leftovers to donate to preemies. He tried saying pumping "doesn’t increase supply" and that I just “got lucky” making so much. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML
Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML
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Top comments
Sierra_Rose_1 4
its your kid . tell him to get over it , you're the one that had the baby and not him .
exil5 2
Somehow I think he's either the stupidest guy on earth or he's joking.
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Comments (263)
donut_gurl 8
wow, that's the most rediculous thing i have ever heard! My boyfriend is very jealous, but he let's me (and enocouranges) breastfeed our son!
donut_gurl 8
I mean he's jealous of other things, not the baby breastfeeding.
pengin 13
For one, spell-check is your friend and secondly, thinking people care to hear about your boyfriend who seems to have jealousy issues does not make this the case.
iwadasn 33
If you can only breastfeed your child because your boyfriend "lets" you, then your relationship has serious problems.
uglycrow 5
Pack your bags girl..
holdenthemonkey 3
Babe.... I can't believe you are airing our dirty laundry out on FML!?! I am so against this but if you are going to this, I'm not going to let the world think I am some father jealous of our son breastfeeding. Our son is four and a half, he walks up to you and asks to be fed. He can undress you! He can undo your bra with one hand quicker than I can. Doesn't it hurt he has a full set of teeth? He can practically walk to the fridge and pour himself a glass of milk!! If you want to throw punches here, how about stop drinking so much. The reason he is probably still hooked on your milk is because it's tainted with Guinness and Jamison! You are making our son an alcoholic! Instead of bringing juice boxes to kindergarten, he will be bringing his flask..bitch I'm not jealous, it's inappropriate at his age, just tell the whole story and not make me look like an ass to the world. We will talk about this more when you get home; and please hurry, junior must be getting thirsty for you, he is trying to open another can of coors light. -TJ
fizzamj 6
Is that really the husband lol
alycion 39
Doubtful since op states newborn and mr bored added 4 and a half years to the kids life. Points for trying I guess.
Cartera 10
What?
morgan020 0
I know you are being funny however I just want to point out that the world health organization recommends breastfeeding for as long as 5-6 years of age. And until at least the age of 2...Now the alcohol on the other hand not so much :)
tildoorf84 7
sounds like you married a tool, ydi
flutter4 7
How was she to know that he would behave this way?
Deannie88 6
Are you kidding me? It's natural...and healthier!
The_Thinker 18
Let me guess - he didn't even think to offer his moobs as an alternative? Tsk, tsk. Humanity nowadays.
Scoutman 5
Psycho
vbmg152 19
I don't even know what to say to this!
mrshutcherson123 3
Seriously?
JaysFanStu 3
So your husband is retarded?
JaysFanStu 3
It appears there is quite a difference between newborn and 4& 1/2 year old. Hard to tell what's what here.