Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, I challenged my husband to look after our twins by himself all day, like I normally do. When I got home, both babies had on clean nappies and clothes, dinner was cooked, the house was spotless, and three loads of washing were done. Smug bastard. FML
Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I got pissed after my boyfriend tried mansplaining breastfeeding to me. I’ve nursed two children of my own, stocked and sustained two big freezers full, and still had leftovers to donate to preemies. He tried saying pumping "doesn’t increase supply" and that I just “got lucky” making so much. FML
Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML
Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
Today, my husband decided he needs to be thanked after every time he changes our daughter's diaper; if not he throws a temper tantrum. Now I have two babies to deal with. FML
Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ojoRojo 27
Yeah noooo. Those things are vastly different. Did he go back out for the correct items?? Congrats on your baby!
hope jm 5
next time remind him to use his phone if he's unsure what to get. duh. if be pissed to. I always use my phone if I'm unsure because they are out of something.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
ojoRojo 27
Yeah noooo. Those things are vastly different. Did he go back out for the correct items?? Congrats on your baby!
1known 34
That kind of man still exist? No kidding?
Plop 17
Well, if he has life insurance, you could still hope for him to have an untimely "accident".
hope jm 5
next time remind him to use his phone if he's unsure what to get. duh. if be pissed to. I always use my phone if I'm unsure because they are out of something.
Chazzster 32
Give him a written list next time. Make sure he can read it - Or send him a text or email so he will have that with him at the store.
kfchicken 31
let's remember he's not a child and she's busy taking care of one. he can text her or call her to double check. yes a list would be nice but let's not put this on her it's 100% his fault