Today, I got pissed after my boyfriend tried mansplaining breastfeeding to me. I’ve nursed two children of my own, stocked and sustained two big freezers full, and still had leftovers to donate to preemies. He tried saying pumping "doesn’t increase supply" and that I just “got lucky” making so much. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML
Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, I was called a horrible excuse for a mother just for buying formula for my baby. I just don’t produce any milk of my own. FML
Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML
Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML
Today, I quit my job because I wasn't given the time or space to pump for my newborn child. I went back to work 4 weeks postpartum, and they suggested I pump in the bathroom, my car or the freezer. FML
Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, most of my immediate family do nothing but criticise me for not breastfeeding. My mom even threatened to call CPS for child abuse, no matter how many times I explain I physically don’t produce milk, and formula feeding is literally my only option. FML
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Top comments
slhiggx 17
Same as bagelbitch^ did it all, barely produced. 3 children. All breastfed until I dried all the way up. All under 6 months.
Alan Staff 59
Oh no, we've got a live one here. Who brought the incel to the party?
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Comments (8)
BagelBitch 2
He's not entirely wrong. I tried to breastfeed my two children and never made enough, despite pumping after every feeding and every two hours to try to tell my body to make more. I worked with various lactation specialists. I drank copious amounts of water, I even drank the teas and ate the foods known to help "up" production. Not even homemade lactation bites worked; nothing did. I have several friends who were in the same boat as me, and a couple friends who were as lucky as you. He is right, you are lucky that you were able to make so much and have an oversupply. Pumping had very little to do with it.
sarsuela 29
While some produce more than others, pumping does increase supply. (Though if you stress about it too much – stress decreases supply.)
BagelBitch 2
While you are correct on stress decreasing supply, what you said about pumping is actually a myth. Pumping is not a definitive diagnosis to increase supply. A lot of women do not respond to pumps at all and have to hand squeeze the milk out. Really the only way to increase supply is by removing all of the milk...which a pump does not do. If you have ever pumped and you give your breasts a squeeze afterwards, you will most certainly spray milk. In actual fact, the best way to increase supply is to have the baby on the breast more often because nothing removes milk better than your baby (as long as they are latching properly).
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Sorry that's bs. Signed a bfeeding counsellor who's helped thousands of mothers to bfeed
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
I'm sorry that happened to you. It was still a whole lot more than just luck that meant OP managed to produce milk. Pumping does often increase supply, which is why consultants suggest it. OP also put in a lot of effort to fill the freezer and donate milk and she deserves a round of applause rather than being denigrated.
RichardPencil 32
Well, he is the man. He must know his stuff.
slhiggx 17
Same as bagelbitch^ did it all, barely produced. 3 children. All breastfed until I dried all the way up. All under 6 months.
arbortardo 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is just someone throwing mansplaining out as an attention grabber. He was probably trying to say something about how she’s a good breeder (aka biologically attractive mate) and she decided to seek pity. Milk production is genetically linked some women produce more some less, don’t come on here trying to prove you’re oppressed by insulting the women that are amazing mothers but couldn’t/can’t breastfeed as long/much as they wanted, it’s a pathetic attempt at getting attention that you aren’t getting from your husband because you reject any compliments he offers.
Alan Staff 59
Oh no, we've got a live one here. Who brought the incel to the party?
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
OP said nothing to denigrate other women. Yes genetics are on her side but she also put in a lot of time and effort to do her best for her baby and even donate and she deserves a round of applause for that
taylor_b22 7
I mean….without knowing the context he’s not wrong, I didn’t produce enough milk despite having a hospital grade pump and alternating between latch and pump every hour, I tried foods, teas, etc, nothing worked, I had 4 kids and was able to breastfeed only my last one
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Sorry you didn't get the right help for you first three. However op put in tons of effort it wasn't just luck.
jeffprobs 29
Hmm
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Well done OP for all that effort and especially for donating!
It_gets_better 20
As a Mom who's NICU baby was fortunate enough to have donated breastmilk available, thank you for donating OP!