Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML
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Top comments
Idiotskillme 20
Don't worry too much, OP. They'll need some kind of proof and when they don't have it the cops won't be too happy with them.
xKrisSmoove 21
Get yourself some alibis OP, you'll need them, then you can possibly counter sue the bastards
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Comments (46)
soulreaper12296 28
They wont get very far without any proof.
kirkaygri 18
I live in Illinois. I've seen one traffic camera in my entire life. And it was in Missouri. I travel all over the central and southern part of the state; not many towns have traffic cameras.
antisolid87 5
Chicago has a lot of traffic cams
asakadelis 7
Maybe 2 people said you did but everyone else on the block knows you didn't
shadowwolf656 8
press charges for slander against both of then
weirdxforever 4
wow.. i would've been trying to move out already haha
GhostFox 34
I'm pretty sure that moving would be a bad idea if OP is officially under investigation. It not only would paint OP as if he were guilty of some crime, but could be illegal.
Alitas 11
Kill them!!!
takren 2
Get a lawyer. Ask for photographic proof.
jvanevery 19
I'm guessing that this guy is a pain in the ass for the the police he probably accuses other people in the neighborhood of other things this isnt an isolated behavior
nicholcm 5
do a bit of digging on these two, good chance they have done this sort of thing before, would show a pattern of behaviour.