Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my mother insists that because I won’t eat my dad’s mashed potatoes, it means I must think he is a bad cook and that I'm a disrespectful little prick. I wouldn’t touch mashed potatoes even if Gordon Ramsay made them, and I was on the brink of starvation. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML
Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML
Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML
Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML
Today, my mom went on a rant about how insulin and other diabetic medications are evil western poisons, and that she can control her condition naturally on her own. That would be great, if she actually ate right and exercised instead of just using meditation to “think” herself healthy. FML
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Top comments
SilverInGray 25
Emailed information is always correct though.
cradle6 13
Oh Jesus, your mom wants you to eat healthier. How horrible. I'm sorry OP.
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Comments (103)
annaliesalayoshi 13
But potatos are good
ClassyCommando 13
Yes, yes they are, your point?
slushpup9696 12
This FML would suck even more if the OP was a male.
bfrench95 0
I really don't understand what "batshit" means. Can someone elaborate?
eyeIoveyou 4
35 - batshit is no different from apeshit. basically, he's saying his mother goes crazy whenever she sees him doing this lolol
ninja7117 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNnr320h1kM&feature=youtube_gdata_player GUANO
mudkipsan 19
Apeshit is a whole lot of crazy in one big chunk. You will probably get messy if you get too close, but it's easy to step around. People _go_ apeshit. Batshit is small bits of crazy that build up until they cover the entire floor. You may not even be aware of its enormity until you turn the wrong corner, and suddenly you're in the middle of it, and it's everywhere. It's extremely slippery and difficult to get away from. You'll definitely have stain. People _are_ batshit.
ilovedinosawers 17
Potato CHIPS are the processed parts
b1gphil 6
she means 'badshit crazy'
ohmylanta22 5
Pretty sure she meant batshit not badshit
smashmaster52 0
It is true ;)
GVirdi 11
Shudnt u hav something evil to match ur picture? Just saying I shud hav something weird/stupid/random.......... Mission accomplished?
jazziness 12
62- Not everyone has to say something that goes with their picture or else I would be talking about tacos right now
GoW_Chick 15
65- but you are talking about tacos right now and I don't blame you
GVirdi 11
I was just sayin it seems like a good moment to make his comment match with his pic :3
22jrdn55 15
That's one processed situation.
RetardedChipmunk 7
No it's an unprocessed situation :)
illmatic2 16
Was that supposed to be a pun?
22jrdn55 15
processed = shit unprocessed = food?
VertigoF8 2
Next time just keep it to yourself, okay?
dayday14_fml 4
Lol
Swiftly 0
That is the worst pun I have ever heard
22jrdn55 15
techniquely, it's the worst pun you've ever read! unless you're blind and someone read it for you.
SilverInGray 25
Emailed information is always correct though.
burtonbullet 10
It's on the Internet, therefore it must be.
SilverInGray 25
The internet's always right.
SilverInGray 25
That's such a good deal! Is he crazy?
LightningCactus 12
Then why hasn't that Serbian prince responded? I gave him my credit card info to visit his mansion.
cradle6 13
Oh Jesus, your mom wants you to eat healthier. How horrible. I'm sorry OP.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes it's horrible, I would die without processed food's like Jack-in-the-Box tacos and cheetos.
Epsilonyx 15
Eating healthier isn't the FML here, it's the extreme misinformation.
TheMaster15 10
I'd say the FML is not getting to eat potato chips. I think i'd die.
oneillrox1 0
Fat ass ps ur pic is gayy
ShroomsOnAcid 17
On the other hand, natural birth control!
ilovedinosawers 17
Oh no she wants us to ear healthy. How rude
Jakesterk96 8
Lol, I read #6 comment in a smart ass voice
YaboyVinnie 21
Don't be a Joker, it's real if she goes Batshit crazy.
LoganBurrito 6
You should be proud of that. I tip my hat to you, sir.
sjhill 32
So don't let her catch you.
JumbledGirl 2
Youd think shed encourage it...
ClassyCommando 13
YES! Screw the apostrophe! Viva la Revolution! The apostrophe's reign of terror is at an end, my brethren. Oh, shit! What have I done? *shoots self in head*
Chad_the_Brony 0
Yes. Her shed is is constantly encouraging her.
Dark__Angel66 24
She doesn't want your ovaries to shrink, that means no grandkids ;)
Isoldael 27
Find official research that proves the opposite. Whatever you're trying to prove, there's always research to back you up (although the methods can often be disputed, but your mom doesn't seem to be all that picky about what she believes anyway...)