Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML
Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I went to the store to go buy a pregnancy test because my period was 7 days late. I get home, go into the bathroom, pull down my underwear, pee and come to find out I'd started my period when I looked at it after peeing on it. FML
Today, my mom forced me to take a drug test while she watched. I couldn’t do it due to nerves, so she grounded me because, "there's no way I would be nervous unless I was doing drugs." Nope, just a shy bladder. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
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Top comments
Hannah_fml 0
i totally thought it would have ended up as a drug test, not a pregnancy test.
Nuklear 0
clever.
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Comments (193)
trying_madly 0
agree w/9 she should have confronted you then got sneaky but maybe she did. Honestly, i don't think it's that horrible, i mean if you had a kid ten bucks says your mum would be the one taking care of it and dishing the dough to feed and w/e it anyhow. i do hope 6 was kidding though. satanic ways.... hahaha. EDIT: just saw that she posted right before me, guess it wasn't a joke.. How could you really think the doctor's would accept urine that your mum brought from home? That sounds sketchy to me already.
Kitten125 0
Your mom is a weirdo. Seriously. And if you aren't pregnant feel free to tell as much. Because I swear she needs some sort of counseling if she's stealing pee....
Arbitrary 0
Lmfao #6 Smart one, she got you. Results?
blindsunrise 0
Last I knew scratch tests were done for allergies.
JohnnyViola 0
LOL WORD to #13. *points and laughs at crazycrazy greenman #6/#11* Seriously, I'm not the one who's going to your God's hell, baby.
greenman_fml 0
I AM NO WOMAN, WOMAN.
XplicitJesus 4
whateva......
Hannah_fml 0
12- TMI but I've had bladder infections and other stuff before where the doctor gives you a bunch of pee cups. I had to pee in one every other day for a certain amount of time, and within 5 hours of me peeing I had to bring in the pee sample to the lab. and everyone, pretty sure he is joking. profile says "Don't hate, procreate"
JohnnyViola 0
No, you're the CAPSMAN, greenman.
Tuxedo_Mask 0
lmfao, lmfao, LMFAO @ #6.
mrcarmine 0
HA!!! if only you got some of her smart genes, you might have seen that coming. or at least sealed the envelop to mail it to the lab yourself. sucks. and lmao #6, that was obviously a joke. people who really feel that way don't read filth like fmylife.com hahaha