Today, it was the first sunny spring day that I had off from work. I spent the morning making a picnic lunch and took my girlfriend to a beautiful spot overlooking the lake. I did not count on a bird flying by with perfect poop aim as soon as we spread out the food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Today, it’s this year’s first spring-like day, with warm sunshine, birdsong, and the first tiny flowers! So of course I'm taking full advantage of this delightful weather by… being sick and staying indoors. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
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Top comments
AnthonyCS5 19
That bird is probably single like me and wanted you relationship people to be "down in the dumps." I like the way that bird thinks! Lol!
Eashy 16
There is no way the poop hit everything unless it was clustered together. Just toss whatever was hit away and eat the untouched food.
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Comments (8)
AnthonyCS5 19
That bird is probably single like me and wanted you relationship people to be "down in the dumps." I like the way that bird thinks! Lol!
Eashy 16
There is no way the poop hit everything unless it was clustered together. Just toss whatever was hit away and eat the untouched food.
Glowworm56 27
Hey bird! Stop pooping on my picnic!
RichardPencil 32
Supposedly, that's good luck. If that's so, I'll smash a mirror and take my chances.
vicewinner 5
You will remember this much longer that a regular boring picnic. Maybe telling this story to your kids and grandkids. Be grateful.
dees_86 6
83 Ok