Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML
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Top comments
TysonBrown 0
... grow up baby, ur parents ****! deal with it!
perdix 31
I'll bet the OP means "scarred" for life. Just another instance where some Internet dummy doesn't know that doubling a letter can change the whole meaning of a sentence. What a looser! So, Casper the Friendly Ghost wasn't wearing his raincoat when he entered Mom's dark, moist, scary haunted mansion!
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Comments (165)
dealwithit84 0
and least u'll always be a bad speller
nkkataeva 0
And so will YOU ;]
MadisonEstrada 1
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize this was English class.
Angelsrockfl 0
so was I, but at Leasy ur parents didn't dress as ragety Ann and Andy..
TOL_fml 6
You were concevied on Frank Iero's birthday! (guitarist of My Chemical Romance)
purple_tiger 0
#11 owns.
skyeyez9 25
I wonder if he wore the "Charlie Brown" ghost costume with holes all over the sheet.
Compass 0
Let's just say your mom forgot to eat her Halloween candy.
redrovaa 0
LMAAAAOOOO
legal9189 0
And? What's so bad about that? Parents don't always plan when they are going to concieve their child so yeah there is a chance you may get concieved on a holiday or something. It's not that bad! My mom told me I was concieved on a water bed and you don't see me on here acting like my life is going to end! lol
rawr71 0
ur kidding me right? fyl? cuz ur mom had a sense of humor ?
Soraa_fml 0
#11 u jackass u ruined it
SOLDamerican 0
ouchhhh