Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
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Top comments
TysonBrown 0
... grow up baby, ur parents ****! deal with it!
perdix 31
I'll bet the OP means "scarred" for life. Just another instance where some Internet dummy doesn't know that doubling a letter can change the whole meaning of a sentence. What a looser! So, Casper the Friendly Ghost wasn't wearing his raincoat when he entered Mom's dark, moist, scary haunted mansion!
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Comments (165)
yzaldana 0
wow...sucks balls...
epr 0
Uh-Oh.
xWTF_FML_FTWx 1
+8=====D = <wait what?! wasted comment :D
yellowdaisy92 0
hey at least u were planned?
KarinaLizeth18 5
haha!! oh wow now I get it xD
yellowdaisy92 0
at least you were planned
chuchurocket 4
oh it's a condom... I fail
omgimdabest 0
scarred*...and that's not as bad as the Fml I saw a while back saying "Today, my mother told me against my will that she swallows. FML" you got lucky by those standards lol
iSitt 0
your parents had sex and now you exist so fyl ?
AaronatorTEN 0
haha that's a weird thing for your mom to tell you :-|
chili10 18
hahaha xD first fml to make me laugh in a Long time. your mom is cool
Graawr 7
You're mom looks cool. :D
fourchancookie 0
yep
nibawan 0
yes 1 I'm sure her mom does suck her dads balls
Melgros 0
You mean, 'scarred* for life'? Fail grammar, OP.
adammicdaddy 4
#73 FRW
adammicdaddy 4
*FTW. darn iPod touch. changing what I type.
kritz0 10
#80....uhm...grammar or...spelling? Seems like you're on the same idiot boat as the OP.
Taipan_fml 0
#80 I'm pretty sure OP meant to misspell "scarred" as "scared" because, you know, the FML had to do with Halloween, which is, y'know, scary... get the joke...?
dark49 0
i hate all these grammer freaks -.-
A_50cal_goes 0
BOOM Headshot!!!
kate_mama2009 0
are you scared or scarred?
kruzito 0
so i guess... it's scary that you exist.
kruzito 0
#6, i don't think that's ironic.
bomberman93 4
he was wearing his Sea Man costume
fyourlife1990 0
sexy time high five very nice!
sexy_babe_123 0
mmm halloween brings back some wild memories if ya no wut i mean kinda weired i remember tht from wen i wuz 13
Evafml123 0
that wasn't very scarring, maybe to other people but hey, I've seen my parents doing it and they were not under the covers.
ChelseaXD 0
wow #128, 13 seriously? little whorish dontcha think?
PanteraRules 0
128, I did that too except I was alone.... and 11
tman188 0
your fault for imagining him naked
thatsucks42 4
OP's mom doesn't or else he wouldn't be here.
1221jamw 11
ooo that is weird I hope I'm first btw lol but srsly
wertan10 0
fail
Hummbinger 5
mega fail
KaleidoscopePope 0
first to fail
sarah48_fml 0
epic fail
xWTF_FML_FTWx 1
supercalafragilisticexpialidicious fail
KaleidoscopePope 0
I wanna slap you now...
xWTF_FML_FTWx 1
did I spell that wrong? is it supercal(i)fragilisticexpialid(o)cious ...yeahh I think that's it...
KarinaLizeth18 5
yeap it's the second one the supercalifragilisticexpialidotious xD
KarinaLizeth18 5
dammit!!! D:< I fail too haha it's: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious geez there finaly haha
cruxx 0
O_o supercaliwhatsit? =[
PimpdaddyCJT 13
hahahah that is hilarious
KarinaLizeth18 5
supercaliGIBBERISH haha random word it means nothing... :|
Tasanasanta 0
You meanarry Poppins lied to me? D;
Tasanasanta 0
Marry Poppins* fail
swimmerstud 7
Mary Poppins is a lie with catchy music? that's the worst of the liars!
1221jamw 11
I said I hope I'm first I never said I was and if it wasn't for anti flood I woulda been first
DorkyPunkChick 0
haha ewww....kinda funny though lol never heard of the term "ghost costume" x) kudos
abeastmuffin 1
yea me too
TeeHee124 0
Aww... now I'm thinking of my parents... (gag)
duerrs396 0
let's just say the inside of your moms ****** was wearing a ghost costume that night, a creamy white ghost costume.
Emmy_The_Great 2
picture win.
rachelaguren 0
HAHAHAHA!(:
TysonBrown 0
... grow up baby, ur parents ****! deal with it!
cstevanus 4
still, not something you want to hear. people who say stuff like you just did annoy me. yea its natural or normal or whatever, but no one wants to hear thungs about their parents sex lives. i know i dont. conjures horrific images in my head.
XxxCodyXxx 0
yea wat are you a pussy
PurplePigeon 0
if this "scared" you, you need thicker skin OP.
bridgette5866 0
lol yeah. *scarred, OP.
dudeitsdanny 10
.... Isn't it obvious that your parents had to have had sex in order for you to even be here? I'd get it if your mom was telling you how she and your dad roleplayed in bed last night, and he was in a ghost costume. I'd feel very sorry for you. I do feel slightly bad that you heard the details, but stop crying. It's not like she told you he gave it to her from behind while she leaned against the dryer. Yes, I'm purposely trying to add to the trauma.
JillianlikesVogu 0
I agree, it's ridiculous how so many people these days freak out at their parents banged at one point in time. Am I the ony one who thinks it's kind of sweet?
BeeHappy_fml 0
Yes.
RoccoRox 0
it would be REALLY weird if your name was mike myers..
hashmita 0
You're cute, 17 =)
RoccoRox 0
thank you(;
Kanvis78 0
So FML because your father and mother concieved you? How horrible. FOL - F our lives for reading this crap.
reptarroars 7
stop complaining about it, if it wasn't for them you wouldn't even be here to post this lame flm :|
MarkerofMagic 0
reptar win.