fatman
United States
Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Loot
United States
Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML
Fat Bastard
Today, my son bought me some Slimfast for my birthday. FML
bannana0zoom
Canada
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Anonymous
Aspley, Australia
Cheers
Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML
Anonymous
Bucyrus, United States
Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML
not_so_sweet_sixteen
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Dude, where's my car?
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a three month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML
fatty
Gloucester, United States
Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML
Timetoloseweight
France
Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML
FalkensLabyrinth
Gardner, United States
Tact
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML
Top comments
yahididit 0
ouchhh...
ThatBrownChick 0
well that wasn't very nice of her. maybe she could drop a few hints or something but signing you up for weight watchers behind your back is kinda.. cruel? but I guess she only did it for your own good! :)
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Comments (218)
artcwolfman 0
for her birthday get her a phycologist
kelzen 0
71 lol
LemonSabotage 0
enjoy your birthday cake (if you even got one to eat...) it might be the last in a loooooong time, Mighty McChunks. ps YDI for being an abomination to society and your mother's eyes YDI for probably being the jerk who bought the last chocolate donut from my tim horton's! YDI for being the reason poor kids dont have enough to eat. Thanks a lot. Psh.
LemonSabotage 0
P.S. Of course you're fat, look at the grease americans put in their food and their "normal" portion sizes seriously you were screwed from genetics and what you shoved in your mouth. No offence to other americans :P
girl14 0
So? fat people are gross. fat has never been sexy. No you don't "Love your curves" No one does. No I'm not taking Tyra Banks curves I'm talking roll. Being fat is your bodys way if saying "I have energy I don't know what to do with, I'll save it for later because I don't need it right now." but since you never use it all it gets stored. Quit being lazy and go to weight watchers
LemonSabotage 0
i lol'ed.
complicated4 0
you know way back in the day if you were gues what you can say 'thicker' you were thought to be wealthy and upper class and skinny people were thought to be poor
RyanMcRyan 0
be happy she cares
Brittney_E 0
well, 71. perhaps his send button was broken...?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Accept your mom's gift with dignity and grace, and try to use it wisely, Fattie McLardchunk. *twitch* OK, even with all the damned copiers, I MUST MAKE THE LIST! YDI for being fat (redundant, yes, but this is a compulsion, DAMN YOU). YDI for having a birthday. YDI for having a mom. YDI for being ingrateful.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Fuckbeans. Long hours and lack of sleep are taking their toll. IDI for working. IDI for FMLing while at work. ER, I MEAN, THE U AND I ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER IT WAS JUST A TYPO SFHSFLJBSFVBHSFLBHKSFKBSFJFSJKLSFSF
Trollz4daLULZ 2
No, it was a legitimate misspelling. :( I thought my "ER, I MEAN" bit was obvious in its jesting nature.
LemonSabotage 0
way to steal my mcdonald refference ;P lol
Trollz4daLULZ 2
*reference and wtf are you talking about? who even mentioned a shitty fast food joint?
LemonSabotage 0
i did, scroll up. sorry for the mispell. sheesh.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Damn, I almost always call fatties in FMLs "[fatass-term]y Mc[something-else-mean-about-fat]". I didn't notice you had beat me to it in this FML, though. Oh well, two variations on one theme never hurt!
alyssaax3 0
I bet this is the same mom that saw the girl naked with her fat belt (x
Tweety122888 0
83 there's an app for this website so you dont have to use safari. it's free look it up on the app store as fml. it's easier plus it tells you when new fml posts have been published.