Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Dirty mind
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
Overreaction much?
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Art critic
Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
Top comments
omgcyndaquil 23
Restore it from trash and show her.
Zebediabolical 45
**** creates unrealistic expectations in young people. Such as how fast the plumber or delivery guy will get to your door.
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Comments (88)
omgcyndaquil 23
Restore it from trash and show her.
firefighter925 18
Maybe she cleaned it out of the recycle bin
mrningbrd 19
You can download a thing that can restore things you've already deleted from your recycle bin (sorry i forgot the name atm)
mds9986 24
She'll probably just claim he downloaded another picture and named it the same thing.
eyepuppy 31
44, the first "thing" you are referring to is a computer application. The second "thing" you are referring to are data files. You see, there is a table on the hard drive that stores the location of each and every data file on your hard drive (not exactly, but let's pretend it does). When a data file is deleted and removed from the recycling bin, merely the table location is removed; the file remains on the hard drive, but in a rewritable state. If you were to catch it before the data is overwritten, you can recover the file. This goes for word documents that are lost due to accidental deletion, or lost from a power outage. A simple search for "recover deleted files" will show you plenty of applications that will solve your issues.
anyagrande 31
I love how parents like to just be like DONT WATCH ****!!!!!!! Rather than educating their children about how **** is unrealistic, i mean grounding a kid wont stop them watching **** again
Sammeydw 22
Grounding a child for having **** and not educating the child, is like Punishing a child for having ANY sexual thoughts / feelings / actions , and then not educating their children. And we all know how effective that is. "How can I be pregnant? I didn't have sex. I just played doctor ..."
Colon_Man 17
Anyone here order a pizza? *queue music*
Shade0000 9
When it comes to joke files like that, I always keep at least 5 copies in case that happens. Better safe than sorry
Bootybot47 15
Man I will never truly understand what people have against ****.
catherinecas 30
there are some studies that indicate that early exposure to pornography can lead to sexual dysfunction. Whether these studies are unbiased or not I have zero clue. As long as everyone in the video is of age and consenting with out being coerced it's fine. There are some companies that are abusive to their actors however. So some people have problems with it from an ethical point of view.
usernamesaredum 8
#13 it's worth it
InfiniteSunshine 32
I know what studies you're talking about, although it's usually not the age at which people view them. Although too young probably is not such a good thing. The studies are done on people who watch **** regularly, and when I say regularly, I mean usually like multiple times a day so it's almost an addiction. These studies show these people start to have sexual dysfunction because of it, and eventually can only perform with ****, not with normal sex, some get so bad they just can't perform at all eventually. I agree with everything else you said, **** is fine if used conservatively, and as long as it isn't abusive and manipulative.
catherinecas 30
There are other studies that indicate that if **** is someone's first exposure to sex it can cause some of the same issues. Personally I'm not really a fan of most of it. I can understand why a parent wouldn't want a young child watching it. But if your child has internet access in the privacy of their room and you've never installed parental controls you can't be too upset.
Zebediabolical 45
**** creates unrealistic expectations in young people. Such as how fast the plumber or delivery guy will get to your door.
chosha_fml 27
#5 Inaccurate, unrealistic depictions of sex, fake reactions, zero story, same round of positions every time, including some that look good but in real life actually make it difficult for a woman to ****** and things that should never be done in real life (like anal then oral). No imagination. Boring. If kids see it too young it ***** up their ideas of sex. If people watch it too much it can mess up relationships because it creates expectations in your sex life that people should always be gagging for sex, which isn't how life works. And a lot of the industry is exploitative (not all, but still). I'm not saying people shouldn't watch it, but there are a shit ton of reasons why people are against it or don't like watching it.
Shade0000 9
You can always bypass parental controls on Windows via command prompt, pretty easy as well, just takes time, patience, a web browser, etc.
Tripartita 45
Now imagine just how much more confusing this whole situation could be if you were a furry, OP.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Hopefully your mom isn't computer literate enough to know how to remove things from your recycle bin. Restore it and show her. Hopefully she believes you when she sees it...Though...maybe don't name your files like that in the future.
claudiajean 24
**** and pussy? Well everyone knows they're just other words for a cockerel and a cat! Your mum has a filthy mind...
eatsteak 20
love it.
Tyrez 32
She would've grounded you anyway had she clicked on it for having a poor sense of humor.
Guy1009 15
Why was your Mom checking your computer?
JackDupp 11
Because he/she is a minor?
BeautifulChaos27 37
Why did you expect your mother to open the file if the intention was to make her think it was ****?
eatsteak 20
I am pretty sure op did not intend mom to open it but for friends and such.
Bunnyluver 20
It happens! I love video's of unlikely animal pairs.
holly_fly 34
That is glorious. Both the name of the file and your mother's reaction XD XD XD