Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
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Top comments
omgcyndaquil 23
Restore it from trash and show her.
Zebediabolical 45
**** creates unrealistic expectations in young people. Such as how fast the plumber or delivery guy will get to your door.
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Comments (88)
Kristen320 21
I feel like 99% of the people on this site are old enough to watch ****...
deathshead 19
watch ****, or watch **** legally? There are age restrictions in some places but anyone can click the little box that says "Yes I am years old."
Colon_Man 17
I'm almost 40, but most of the time I forget that there are 12 year olds on these boards. That's when I get confused about "my mom found..." or "my dad took..." When I was 12 I had a job. And a haircut. And I stayed off people's lawns.
dansco 25
Who's laughing now? Not you ?
kennethlwinter 3
Hmm... did you honestly expect something different?
deathshead 19
Apparently so.
awesumous 16
Can you look in the t recycling bin?
kenyrabit 25
Kinda makes you want to look at some ****, yeah? Not guilty, but in trouble anyway?.. Already paying the price, might as well.
BeachGirl27 23
Now that's funny! LOL.
VowelMovement 15
This is fake af. Still made me breathe out my nose tho
infinitemonkey 21
But you were looking at ****, weren't you?
Oceanborn_fml 24
Why do you expect her to open it? The name is very self explanatory. YDI
ViviMage 40
You (or she) realize newer Windows computers can show the thumbnail of an image from the desktop/folder and she might have been able to tell right away with was a chicken and a cat? YDI here though trolling your mother.