Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
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Top comments
omgcyndaquil 23
Restore it from trash and show her.
Zebediabolical 45
**** creates unrealistic expectations in young people. Such as how fast the plumber or delivery guy will get to your door.
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Comments (88)
veenarm 8
how does one not open that file?
Shade0000 9
Irrationality?
brenton490 19
Please who saves **** on the desktop you put it in the finances folder, because no one goes there.
myabeth 11
Wait...so your mom would punish you for looking at ****? But...that's what guys do...haha
worldclassrager 41
Take it out of the trash unless she emptied it...and open it problem solved...or just name your images rightly and hey if you do that you could maybe add some **** if you would like...just hide them deep in folders
lukian_fml 29
Undelete.
saxaddict122 14
Yeah brutha that's what the recycle bin is for. On another note, you kinda deserved it; if your mom is conservative enough to ground you for a month for essentially doing something that helps curve the urge to have premarital sex, then she probably wouldn't have found that kind of joke funny.
Peppersworth 6
restore it from garbage bin and show her
theoldman 22
Why would you save it under that name though? You should know the sexual connotations associated with the words **** and pussy.
MidnaLink 35
Um… duh. That's why it was named that.
nodai 13
File recovery is a magical thing.
clemagh 7
I have heard of a porno like that...