Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, without thinking, I casually advised my mum that the best way to get the piping nozzle clean is to 'fingerfuck' it. FML
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Top comments
mfinn 0
I agree with your boyfriend.
iamazombie 0
wow poor you, your boyfriend is smart and open to talking about sex. your life sucks -.-
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Comments (63)
captainmaharet 1
Your mom should be relieved that he pays attention in sex ed!
mr_miyagi 0
lmao
maddiey2014 0
LMFAO @ 18
MrPresidentBoss1 0
lol you mom and your boyfriend discussing your vag, to bad for you, hilarious for anyone else listening.
lucifer69_fml 0
gatorgrl1988- just because I stated the truth doesn't mean my mother needs a slap for fouling the earth you ******* asshole dumb bitch. what the **** is a droid, tell it to get a dictionary, you should know how to spell and not rely on 'technology'. I hope you trip over and break your face. or some one will do it for you. either suits me
vzdevil 1
droid? seriously? it's a phone
graceinsheepwear 34
but you spelled it wrong. it is gyne not gyno. idiot.
S3A82 0
woah woah woah chill fellas. i think we can compromise. gatorgrl has a stanky vag and didn't take sex ed, and lucifer just blew it WAAAAAY out of proportion. the droid is the new Verizon phone.
gatorgrl1988 0
39 watch your ******* mouth. and the Droid is the new Google phone. doubt u could afford one.
MiGman 5
#40 your telling them to watch thier mouths?
gatorgrl1988 0
okay 38 & 39 lets get over this shit. lets put it behind us and be Fml friends. Who cares about douching and stinky vaginas bahhbahh
S3A82 0
i'd be friends. just remember to wash rinse and repeat.
idaniboo 0
douching is bad for you. and the ****** does cleanse itself.
lucifer69_fml 0
S3A82 or whatever the **** your name is... HAHAHA yes stanky vag! blowing it out of proportion is just what I do guys. pretty funny if you ask me... and gatorgrl zOMg I WoUld jusT lUUurve tO b fmL frIeNds wiTh yOu, you ****. hahaha well I have heard of none of those because clearly I'm not from the same hemisphere as you (thank ****) and yeah, I couldn't afford one you piece of shit 'rich bitch'..... mmmm I love financial assumptions. really turn me on