Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me shaving the tops of my legs. She called me a freak, since apparently women aren’t even supposed to grow hair there. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML
Today, my mom walked out on me, abandoning her 16-year-old and taking $100 and a dog, all because I refused to wear women's panties. I would have been perfectly fine wearing them if I weren't a man. FML
Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML
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Top comments
Shrike 24
^ Translation: "I have no actual comeback, so I'll just make shit up about being in a prestigious school, as if that has any relation to what's being said anyway."
maskedman 9
Is your mother a pimp?
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Comments (147)
omgthisisgay 10
Wow, this actually scared me at first because what I read was Today, my mom cut off my legs. I need a nap. :/ Anyway, that's a strange thing for a mom to do. Maybe put a lock on your dresser (idk if that's even possible), and wash all your clothes yourself so there's no chance she can get ahold of them.
amadisdemitrius 5
They've got some good deals on pants at walmart.
thisismyname1 2
Your mom is trying to pimp you out
mr_jack_meoff 5
Mom is just trying to get you laid, she probably hopes for the throw aways.
IsRaeliPrinCess 8
Well I guess it's safe to say your mother is a Muslim lol. Do it to her clothes as pay back.
dancingartist 2
Shitty mom much?
timberwolf408 7
cut off all the straps on her bras...
DesolateTree 12
I thought moms were supposed to keep that from happening. Unless your mom is somehow a teenager despite you being at least a teenager as well.
daye1967 6
Your new 'shorts' barely cover your thighs? Does that mean they come down to your knees? I realize it's irritating as all get out, not to mention expensive, to have to replace pants, but if the resulting shorts come down to your knees, perhaps you could even them up and call them bermudas. Still very conservative wear, and will keep you neatly covered 'til you buy new clothing (that your mother might also alter). If you're old enough, I highly recommend moving out. Your house = your rules. And do not give your mother a key.
Sir_Swaggington 6
Your mom sucks. Guys approach half naked girls to have sex with them. What kind of mother basically pimps out her daughter?