Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me shaving the tops of my legs. She called me a freak, since apparently women aren’t even supposed to grow hair there. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML
Today, my mom walked out on me, abandoning her 16-year-old and taking $100 and a dog, all because I refused to wear women's panties. I would have been perfectly fine wearing them if I weren't a man. FML
Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML
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Top comments
Shrike 24
^ Translation: "I have no actual comeback, so I'll just make shit up about being in a prestigious school, as if that has any relation to what's being said anyway."
maskedman 9
Is your mother a pimp?
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Comments (147)
olpally 33
Your mom trying to make you dress slutty? What's wrong with her? Make her pay for new pants! That's just ****** up.
imtooshy 18
If this plan of hers works and you get a bf, maybe she'll help him out too and put the condom on for him?!
perdix 31
I hope you trimmed your bush. Pubes sticking out of your Daisy Dukes ruins the effect.
EpicSquishii 21
Unless! Unless you have an expertly maintained Fu Manchu style. It's all the rage, and as such, I've been rocking that shit every Summer since 2005.
perdix 31
#66, actually, I've seen ladies sporting mutton chops down there. Very feminine! It's a reverse landing strip, if you will. If you try it, send me a pic to let me verify you did it right.
EpicSquishii 21
Pfft... Mutton Chops went out circa 1975, anyone trying that out for the first time hasn't been taking "throwback" seriously enough. I'm talking late 1800's here. Go big or go home!
perdix 31
#87, yeah, maybe's it's out of fashion, but it's really the best for some vajayjays. You could also try the Van Dyke. Personally, I go with the Amish Farmer look down there. One little strip going under my nuts. It's difficult to maintain, but I do get invited to barn-raisings.
kim_larsa 5
She has a point hon. Own it!
ShinedownLuv 14
Just try to cut the shorts evenly, and then ask your mother to not cut your clothes
mommy10613 4
messed up. o.O
CrissyyyS2 22
Thrift shop shopping? :P
emuexport 4
Clever mum , should be more like that !!
jw90 18
I thought moms didn't want their daughters to dress that way?
hellox3howlow 17
Don't dress up for boys. Dress up for you. :)
smokecloud_ 37
this is the correct answer