Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, my mother offered me some chocolate milk. I took a few gulps before I realized the label said it was raw unpasteurized milk. When I pointed this out to my mother, she asked me what pasteurization is. We might get sick because my mother is the most horrifically ignorant and out-of-touch person on earth. FML
Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Today, my mom took medical advice from her friend over mine. Her friend sells cheese and I'm a pharmacist. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Enslaved 38
How can your mom not know this? Especially if she was the one that changed you diapers when you were a youngster and most likely given dairy.
joeyl2008 29
Peanut allergies are a myth too
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
Jared900DUmpling 30
I want to see #12 as top comment, that was great xD
claudiajean 24
Actually, you can get more calcium from many plants and high levels of dairy in people's diet have been shown to increase the risk of osteoporosis!
insecurewife07 3
That's not really true. The calcium in plant sources isn't readily absorbed like dairy calcium is. And like anything, there's a balance. Bones need calcium, and you'd have to be drinking a LOT of milk to get too much. If you're actually lactose intolerant it's probably best to find alternatives but if you're not its been shown to have many health benefits.
claudiajean 24
I dunno I mean, I'm vegan and clumsy as hell yet I've never broken a bone! Dairy isn't all that good for us, we're taught t is in school because he dairy industry paid for us to be taught so. I'm not saying it's terrible for us, but considering we're the only species that drinks another species breast milk and continue to into adulthood, I'm gonna say we don't need it.
sparkledoge 29
#58 it's actually the other way around. As an omnivorous specie we need nutriment from both vegetal and animal products. Vegetal calcium is absorbed by the body a lot better than milk's calcium because it is what should naturally be in our diet as fully grown adults. The calcium in milk on the other hand, is perceived by our as a surplus. How ? You might wonder. Because our body already produces part of it's own calcium, as adults, we are not supposed to still be drinking milk so our body identifies is as a surplus of calcium, which can cause osteofibrosis (the opposite of osteoporosis ) the body then reduces it'd calcium production and in rare cases, completely stops it. That's actually what causes most of the bones diseases old people get. So yes, the first comment of this thread is 100% true.
Bibliovore 26
Lactose intolerance is definitely not a myth. However, it's not that uncommon for people to think they're lactose intolerant and actually have something else going on -- ranging from simple gas to serious ailments. OP, have you ever been officially diagnosed as lactose intolerant? If not, then next time you go to a doctor -- for any reason -- ask about your symptoms. A doctor's diagnosis and orders might make your mother rethink her stance, and if it turns out you have something other than lactose intolerance, you can get treated for that. In the meantime, you might try over-the-counter Lactaid (or equivalent) to see if it help your symptoms.
Steffers183 7
That is how I found out I was lactose intolerance. Doc said to avoid milk and see if it got better. Pretty basic instructions. It turns out I also have irritable bowel syndrome too. My GI sucks.
writergirl1029 17
#25, same here. Lactose intolerant AND irritable bowel syndrome. I swear I spend half my life with an upset stomach.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Lactose intolerance is very much real. It's caused by the small intestine not making enough of the lactase enzyme, which is needed to digest and breakdown lactose. You're literally missing a part of the digestion process, she can't say that's not real. I really feel for you, I have lactose intolerance too, and my stomach gets in so much pain if I have milk products.
joshklander 11
Well, if it gives you diarrhea, give her a little present on her pillow.
frankmz 17
Have your parents steered you in the wrong direction? Most good parents want to make sure they take good care of their kids, even if they're wrong or misinformed. But the way you said it seems kind of messed up. In my opinion. No offense though, I read one of your replies to another user.
OliverJasmine 9
This happened to me as a teen. My mom knocked it off after I lost 5 lbs. I was only 125 so it showed right away.
Flyndaran 10
I'm one of the very few people born lactose intolerant. If not for sane parents feeding me non diary formula, I likely would have died.
Steffers183 7
Drink some milk in front of her and stay next to her the entire day. Let the gas fly and suffer the cramps and diarrhoea. She will eventually believe you. This is how I won farting contests at my house hehe.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Yep. Make sure that when you get the farts, she's within range. And if she complains, say, "Well, if you had asked me yesterday why I was farting so much, I would have said it was lactose intolerance. But now that I know that there's no such thing, I guess the farts must be just an inherited trait."
shitoutofluck7 11
True lactose intolerance is when you're born with the inability to produce the enzyme, lactase, to break down lactose (very rare). Producing the enzyme lactase is important in infants when they're being fed by their mothers. As people grow older, the body does not necessarily need to produce lactase. Therefore, people are commonly affected by onset lactose intolerance, instead of true lactose intolerance.