Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML
Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
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Top comments
xoxoblondee 31
She should turn you in to the police, you pot smoking fiend. Clearly a danger to society! *comment overflows with sarcasm*
LilMissCanadian 22
Your mom is a bit extreme.
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Comments (69)
paramor3 23
Sounds exactly like something my mom would do. Probably threaten suicide too.
fyourlife775 2
Wait till she finds out you like anal
unholyswiss 19
Definitely an overreaction on her end, and she's probably an attention mongering ***** that doesn't want you to leave the nest anytime soon. Get a bit of distance between you guys and keep doing what you're doing if it's working out too.
JackFett 0
ONCE?!! Smoke wed everyday dude
Bigdawg42 8
If you aren't hurting anybody, you should be able to do whatever you. Legalize weed
kevinsagirl2323 8
Are you still living at home? that's sad
zoelog 10
that's actually pretty funny since she can't actually do any of that.
randybryant799 21
I think this is funny. You're 24. She can't do anything to you.