Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
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Top comments
Miguemex95 4
Sorry OP :( I think you are better off without him.
bitchpleasemike 7
didn't they believe the neighbor? and couldn't they smell the alcohol? wow...FYL
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Comments (89)
purpleflamingo25 0
Then how are you on fml
KiddNYC1O 22
******* deadbeat should fall off the face of the earth.
twilightluvr101 4
maybe it Was the alcohol in his breath that influenced their decission
lolyeahthatsme 11
Suprise! Your dad is a total dick head! Sorry op, need a hug? Jk free hug day was the 20th. :)
ilovegir404 0
I now how you feel my dad leaves and comes last time I sall him he hit me????
jenny_gaal 5
if they believed him, wouldn't you be in custody right now for attempted murder?
Krulin 8
If you're retarded enough to think that all FMLs were posted on the day they happened, shouldn't you be dead from forgetting how to breathe?
hateevryone 15
i wouldn't speak to him again.
Okayitwasme 0
Sorry OP, cops usually side with who called them.
Dogluvr1197 30
…But OP's neighbor called, not his father.
Overreactive 16
And people ask why there is a phrase called "**** the police"