Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML
Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Fuk_My_Life 0
Ur gonna get herpes if you dont look before you kiss
sch1ll 0
ewwwwwwwwie gross..didnt u sense that there was something on her finger ?
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Comments (77)
Chocolate_Chunk 2
genetic molecules? Wow. you just outed yourself as a retard.
sammi_rubs 0
ewwwwwww
badcereal685 8
I loled sooooo hard! That sucks!
Angellic_09 0
Ewww yuck!
LadyEmi 15
Um, why didn't you ask what was wrong? I mean, that should be your first thought. You're dumb.
rachbat00 0
Awww, at least you're nice enough to kiss your sister
JamieLT 22
Should Have looked at it first
janderson416 16
And then she had human vomit all over her face.