Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML
Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was being charming by smiling and batting his eyelashes at me. When I asked him, "What?" he replied, "When you die, can I have your hair?" FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
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Top comments
feven 32
Parents think they're so slick. Kids understand the dirty jokes by age 12 thank you and please stop
brunettesara5722 17
Lol fyl op, it can be worse though. at least you didn't walk in on it?
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Comments (62)
khoov19 20
@36 I completely agree with you on this. its kids being kids nd half the problen with our world today is the fact that kids are never left alone to develop any conflict resolution on their own due to the fact our modern society has been turned into some type of George Orwellian feel good coddling no winners or losers society
YFOS_fml 17
it's fantastic that your parents are still in love you don't know how lucky you are
0mysteriousman0 22
Ahhh. Great to hear your parents are still at it after kids. Why the hell not have good sex in marriage. Newsflash kids out there... Parents have sex! Ha!
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Fifty Shades of TMI
sugarmonster42 7
That's not an FML. That's hilarious ahaha
chikinscratch00 8
lol. That's cute.
hgmegafan 10
**** my life for having to read that disturbing thing
laughingtoohard 14
Nice
militarybrat 21
Considering hair pulling is (stereotypically) how girls fight, yes it is considered violence. I even think between two adults (in a fight) it could be considered assault. Teach the kids young not to hurt people, problem solved. Besides, hair pulling hurts like a mother
wtfLoki 24
That's how you know she has kinky parents