Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML
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Top comments
Mpsteve13 7
don't have phone sex, you'll get hearing aids boys and girls
Doortje 30
If you were pleased with our service, press 1.
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Comments (103)
dayve 0
oh geez
RiskiBusiness 1
oh my lol
RiskiBusiness 1
oh my lol
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
"Uhhh hello.... I need service... Trouble with my thingy... Very hard.... Say that again? Ohhh yeahhhh... keep going... keep going... again... yeahhh... mkay think I got it... now, you've been a... big help!.... I think I may need to call again later on tonight.... thanks..."
Bobissmall 13
See, unless 19 is right, how the **** do you know what he's doing?
trooper250 0
31, it ain't that hard to put two and two together...
WhatTheFuq 0
22?
TXjuggalo972 6
no it's 4 2+2=4 god
MrBond007_fml 6
you mean jiz
rkcxenocide 0
LOLOL WIN.
marialittlemonst 0
Grosss!
WOW_BS 0
Are you talking about your picture?
davidjr_saldana 0
low blow
Sathian 0
That's hot. Ask him where he lives and help him with it!
acmilan721 4
agreed!
RedPanda900 0
yes!
summerkingsley 0
what the hell? that's ******* gross..
elemont 0
you now have to do this!
Mpsteve13 7
don't have phone sex, you'll get hearing aids boys and girls
mycookiezz 0
lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
acccccccc 1
hahahaahah
BWill9014 4
lol nice
WOW_BS 0
Ha I get it ;)
lukethe 0
lolol!! so gonna use that x)
un_nomable 6
I smell a lonely individual
WOW_BS 0
That's just my wiener and yes, he's a bit lonely.
ReinaJay 13
Ooh that really sucks! Try to look on the bright side, at least people think you have a sexy voice!
Cali_Queen 0
haha lol true!
nrs132 4
Yea, take it as a compliment :)
mea_iloveskiing 26
So you helped him indeed :D
thelastavailable 13
How exactly did you realise that he was doing "the deed"?
traze 7
Wow, your voice is that sexy? be happy or not.
traze 7
Wow, your voice is that sexy? be happy or not.
macskapingvin 0
As opposed to the taste of your voice? The sight of your voice? The smell of your voice?
tbwrb 0
Ok, so you claim to be from England. This means that you've heard the phrase "sound of my voice" before. Evidently you are just a complete muppet that needs to be put down. I'm guessing your knuckles haven't quite scabbed over from your walk to the end of your street. Quit trying to be a smart arse and maybe learn something about yourself.
Sirin_fml 47
Tbwrb, lrn2 sarcasm, please.
tbwrb 0
the guy was being a muppet. also text talk, idiot.
Sirin_fml 47
No, you're the one being a muppet and a twit. Chill out, now.
tbwrb 0
so one for us one for you?
docscientist 10
A little asinine.
Taekwondude 0
The FEEL of your voice?
IHeartJimi02 0
I understand what you're saying Mac. OP shouldn't have put "the sound of my voice."
BeastNerd 3
And I understand you were trying to point out the obvious. (: Just kidding =3.
IHeartJimi02 0
I was directing it towards 56
IHeartJimi02 0
57*