Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML
Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
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Top comments
Ali_Br_fml 33
don't you just hate little brothers???
daBeast155 0
you've got the bruise to prove it
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Comments (176)
sammieslayer 3
what a jerk
SociopathicSmurf 6
He would have seemed more like a Sociopath had he hit himself in the head with it. And episode of CSI regarding a boy bludgeoning his little brother over him gossiping about his bed urination, should be inspirational for the next time you two are alone together.
charger73 0
why you hit your brother!
jaff23 11
might as well hit him anyway if your parents are always gonna believe him
exohazard 6
Pretend to pass out. Instant win.
babystunna18 0
Mom never believes the older child.
ktlok152 0
My parents always believed the older kid and not the younger kid which was me when growing up.
chengy4191 7
lol smart lil bastard!
santel_fml 8
haha that's hilarious! reminds me of my 4 brothers and I growing up
dubbadee123 5
my little brother did that to me when he was home alone I shoved his head so hard into a hollow door that his head made a hole
siggles22 0
wow you have a warped little brother im sorry dude