Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML
Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
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Top comments
Ali_Br_fml 33
don't you just hate little brothers???
daBeast155 0
you've got the bruise to prove it
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Comments (176)
DanielT1994 19
You should actually hit the ****** with it.
MissAmz 7
I would give him something to cry to mum about!
Malevolent_Bunny 0
The little bastard may have gotten the better of you this time, but if he ever pulls that crap again make sure to commit the crime with as much relish and malice as possible. If you aren't going to be believed then you may as well enjoy yourself!
Jessssuhh 17
I did that when I was little, haha! Slammed my brothers friends finger in the door, then ran away crying that he slammed MY finger in the door.
DusktheKat 12
I realized that I was the " least desirable " twin when my mom asked me to help set up for my twin sister's surprise party.
SaintJimmy21 19
wow, what a little brat o.o sure you did nothing in the past to deserve this? 'cuz karma can be a b*tch
Si123 33
Devil child
Tyrax 16
My brother used to do that kind of thing to me. I filmed it on my phone, tucked away hidden a few times so my parents could see he was lying (after they didn't believe me). Then I actually whapped him one good time when he kept doing it. He asked me why for, so I answered, "If I'm gonna get in trouble for it, might as well do it."
NostalgiaFreak9 43
This is why being the eldest ******* sucks.