Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML
Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, someone (we don't know who) put a very massive and noticeable graffiti "mural" in the bathroom at my workplace. Guess who's job it was to clean it? If you said me, you'd be wrong. However, the guy whose job it was got distracted and didn't do it, so it became my job after all. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dianeface 0
Trust me, the high school kids will think its hilarious.
This_Guy 0
Just tell them that you actually did your job, but some kids drew that when you left.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (261)
pete275 0
FYL for being a high school janitor. as for tomorrow, just blame it on the high school kids. I mean, do I have to spell it out for you? maybe that's why you can't get a better job.
Peroxide 3
Im pretty sure it's every students dream to graduate on top of a giant penis. Kudos to you sir.
bittersweets 2
There are one million ways to get rid of the penis until tomorrow. If you can't think of any, maybe that's why you're a janitor...
Thunk 0
They will love it. I would have loved to graduate on a giant dick. You are the man
fuckmeamiright 0
#32 hahaha i love when people act all smug and totally overreact to a joke. it makes my day.
Shlizabeth 0
Why is everybody dissing the OP because he's a janitor? Janitors are cool, and this one drew a giant penis in the grass and goes on FML. Get a life people, you're probably zitty teenagers who work at Mcdonalds anyway.
jengen 0
Niiiiiiiiice work!
twindaddy 0
Dumbass
st87 0
lol hope they round up at the balls and walk in the direction and out of the shaft!
imajinethat 0
When I was in high school, we had a huge water fight and ended up with a huge penis on the wall of the school. It's not that big of a deal. They'll probably laugh.