Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML
Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, someone (we don't know who) put a very massive and noticeable graffiti "mural" in the bathroom at my workplace. Guess who's job it was to clean it? If you said me, you'd be wrong. However, the guy whose job it was got distracted and didn't do it, so it became my job after all. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
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Top comments
dianeface 0
Trust me, the high school kids will think its hilarious.
This_Guy 0
Just tell them that you actually did your job, but some kids drew that when you left.
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Comments (261)
SweetestSin 4
LMAO This is hilarious!!!
eliz3 0
#28, what are you even talking about? "Its very common about 8% of kids do it" First of all, 8% is not a lot. Second, that statistic was completely made up wasn't it? And third, practically ALL boys have drawn a penis and probably some girls. So it would be more like 65%, if were going to make stats up.
aoife123 0
it's from Superbad...
MvK_fml 0
It is a crappy turn of events, but you do deserve it. If you got blamed for someone else doing it, it would be a FML, but as it stands you did something that you shouldn't have done (and might even get away with it).
slitherysloth 0
#32, first off, your use of quotations was incorrect given that I did not actually say what you have in quotes, learn to use them. Secondly, what I had previously written was a joke from the movie Superbad.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
First Off, It was in quotations to signify it was quoted from the previous comment. Learn to use them. Second, how the hell was she supposed to know that was a movie line? OP: You are now qualified as a High School God.
HeyitsPheddy 0
@32, I am pretty sure he stole that number from Superbad, which was the movie I was thinking of while I was reading this.
24788 7
The high school kids will love you for this.
CheezerX 0
dude that is awsome...wish that was at my graduation shit was boring...i had to sit in teh front row so i couldnt go to sleep
apastry 6
This is excellent.
Pepperolls 0
Lol... have you heard about that person who drew a penis on the rooftop so that google earth could see it? Also I think there was another FML on here that resembled your one..
Asdas_fml 0
#40 Learn to write and stop using caps-lock before calling someone retarded.