Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
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Top comments
xShannonxSammyx 7
So... FML I don't have any more spices, or FML my husband can't remember our dead cat's name?
RebornProblem 0
Was he high the entire lifetime of your cat?
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Comments (62)
coltsrock37 15
I guess that'll spice things up at home, eh?
jillianmathers12 13
Is your cooking so bad that he needs to lie to you? If so you can get cooking lessons anywhere! There also pretty cheap!
austinkiser 3
they're*
jillianmathers12 13
Who cares! Is this school? I don't think so!
JustinRulezD00d 0
lol your pretty stupid lady
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
^ hahaha
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
^ hahaha
51194 3
Spices are supposed to make food taste better.. not worse!
promarkchris 6
what do you people try to achieve with this supremely menial high-horse douchebaggery by correcting such whimsical mistakes? was her comment unintelligible? no, you were just being pricks. god knows what'd happen if you ever fell off of your seats up there and landed down here with the rest if us muggles, not putting an apostrophy in the correct place or getting basic syntax wrong. how do you sleep at night.
perdix 31
You must have a speech impediment. I wonder what your life is going to be like without ice, rice, mice, lice or Heidi Fleiss.
Samiad 0
haaa! excellent
DeathMaple 3
Maybe he doesn't like the spices in the food, and seized the opportunity to throw them out.
stardusk1 0
and you never noticed him calling your cat Spicey before how??
TJD28 3
YDI for naming your cat spicey
RetardedChipmunk 7
The cat's name is dicey.
RetardedChipmunk 7
*was*
makevelli187 0
take the hint that he doesn't like your cooking.
SirObvious 1
dicey nooo:(
Glitterhinoceros 14
Rip dicey o.O
wazowski77 0
comment moderated