Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Pants down
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Always check before
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
TW: Gross
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Toilet humour
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
You must be ******** me
Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait, hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was four extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
Top comments
JoeGrant 12
Stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl. What do you do when you don't have a roll? You must prove that you're a man and wipe it with your hand.
Nightwing98 22
*Loads shotgun* Anybody got any "shitty" puns?
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Comments (105)
GAMERZxxHD 25
That a "shitty" experience.
imabassist 23
That was a shitty attempt at a pun.
eddeeezzyy 19
4's gonna blast your head off now...
JoeGrant 12
Stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl. What do you do when you don't have a roll? You must prove that you're a man and wipe it with your hand.
LeFrogDog 27
Some places still have the paper towels to dry your hands. That could be used.
Miss_Latina 13
You use toilet seat covers!
ShadowFlame275 18
*In Morgan Freeman's voice* If you're on the John, and all the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand.
tjv3 10
So you didn't wipe the seat first... Gross now you might get warts on the brown eye... Always always wipe the seat first
CaiDog 20
Did you try to grab the persons wallet?
fishstick557 14
Haven't you ever heard of better being safe than sorry
Nightwing98 22
*Loads shotgun* Anybody got any "shitty" puns?
Kamon97 23
Shit just got real now! *-*
Pattygirl2011 6
just wondering if they were on stall number 2! not a great one but I figured I'd give it a go.
Rainhawk94 27
next time don't
ThatFancyPenn 18
#28 I don't know what would ever lead you to believe that's funny.
MisterEx 28
He has a shotgun! Everybody! Run(s)!
Pattygirl2011 6
I've been awake for 32 hours straight at this point, my sense of humor is broken until that chamomile kicks in.
Kamon97 23
Nobody cares...
Rainhawk94 27
your humor just went to shit
Lintner 12
This shit is about to hit the fan.
diarheea101 11
you made my day.
alshygirl 14
Always check for feet!
hessel 13
would be pretty awkward when you have your pants down, looking under the stall and somebody accidentally sees you
CallMeMcFeelii 14
That's when you compliment their shoes, 44. Bathroom compliments are the best! Unless it's some guy staring at your urinal, those, those are just a ******* weird..
raininginseattle 9
Better yet. Always check that there's tissue. Then you won't have to.
Tupelo_Honey 30
You should have asked if anyone else was in there before leaving the safety of your stall!
ThatFancyPenn 18
Or you know spare the embarrassment of having someone hear your voice and then you'll awkwardly always run into each other in public
ShadowFlame275 18
How would it be embarrassing? You'd just say "Anybody in here?"
XSeraphinX 18
Cue awkward laugh...
chris_ohhhh 7
Toilet paper: $6 for a 20 roll pack The look on OP's face when he comes out the stall: Priceless Always make sure to check for toilet paper before going inside the stall :)
Pauschinator 22
You didn't hear them?
Rainhawk94 27
I fart as loud as I can when I poop to announce my presence
ThatFancyPenn 18
When I hear someone by the stall I cough because I don't want them to recognize my fart
Saone_fml 27
@53 But then they could recognize your cough!
giraffelovergirl 19
One day at school I went in the bathroom and this girl was going "Hello? Hello? Is anyone on here? I need toilet paper!" I went in the other stall then left without giving her any.. I still don't know who it was 6 years later or if she ever got toilet paper.
Axipiter 24
I just imagined a decomposing corpse still sitting on the toilet, having never gotten off it because nobody would lend her a hand.
fakedsincerity 32
wow. you're an asshole.
DrownedMyFish 18
Wow, you're a huge douche!
Bigfabthetruth52 22
Well thanks for letting us know you're a dick,smfh.
KimmyCupZ 21
So, you couldn't share something that you weren't even using? How very unkind of you.
rawr1308 14
Wow, you're an asshole.