Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, my husband came home and groped my ass, so I tossed cold water into his face to make him back off. He's now acting like I sprayed him with toxic acid waste now. What a baby. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband threw an epic tantrum, with crying, snotty nose, throwing himself on the floor, grabbing me by my feet, begging me not to leave him, and that he’s “so sorry” after I confronted him about the sexts and nudes he’s been sending to another woman. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tempuser117 2
Rule #2 Double Tap. Might want to punch him again just in case.
redbluegreen 41
I have no idea on how to respong either.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
MsAnnabelle 0
Ah, l'amour.
zepirothica 0
Take the next step and hit him with a bat.
GunReaper 0
your a stupid bitch for screaming and punching him. what the ****? why would you do that?
KatjaM 15
You're a wimp and your husband is hilarious!
superdude9856 2
Neither do I. I've never responged before. lol learn to spell.
katybaby 0
this is acutally MY FML that i posted. zombies terrify me ok? lol i was genuinly scared even tho i knew it was my husband. it happened so fast i && it was just my first reaction to defend myself. BTW i hit him really hard, in the face. thats why he wouldnt talk to me for a little while. but the "domestic abuse" comment was his wonderful since of humor. so you bashers can all shut up lol idk why people feel the need to become so vicious with people they've never met. it makes me sad you you.
RavenBurga 0
Lol, that's cute
redmnky21 8
sounds like ur just a bitch...
ilovemybonbom 0
wow watta bit** I hope you die .
xXMudkipNoobXx 7
You shouldve shot a full mag into his leg then melee. thats how you get maximum points in round 1
tarnishedfire 3
#113 = win