Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML
Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML
Today, my husband of 35 years told me he had an affair with his secretary in 1995, when I was home with 3 preschoolers. At the time, the phone system required that the secretary pick up, so I was saying hello to her like a fool. I had no idea at the time. He would just come home and tell me how hard his job was. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML
Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML
Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML
Today, while trying to be sexy for my fiancé by going to change his background photo to a naughty pic of myself, I found out he's been actively cheating on me. For almost a year, with multiple women. When confronted, he tried telling how hard me finding out was for HIM. FML
Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML
Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML
Today, I came to found out that every time my husband told me that he was on "a work trip", he was actually cheating on me with some other bitch. FML
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Top comments
Mioko_fml 6
He got some guts to tell you he is cheating on you for you. Lmao. Honestly for you or not, cheater is a cheater, get rid of him.
rattusrattus 19
That makes no sense! To get better at sex with someone, you sleep with that person regularly and discuss what you both enjoy. I guess either your husband is a cheating git, or he's a cheating git who thinks female pleasure is all identical, in which case *clips OP's husband round the back of the head*
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Comments (107)
secretsymbiote21 5
thats how he tried to justify it? thats too bad, OP. your husband is very immature
WaSiSimiLang 8
It's just sad how guys cannot confine their dicks to one woman when they're married. And the ones who justify their adultery are the worst.
Sinkhole 26
What a whopping generalization.
bimonthly 4
well at least you won't need a justification for the divorce
Pandacupcakelove 26
He knows he hasn't got a valid reason, he's just trying to get away with it. What a... I can't even find words to describe this spineless piece of sh*t... Not only does he cheat on you, but he can't even face the consequences afterwards... People like him piss me off so much!
mfischer 17
Better that he admitted it (even as poorly as this) than continue hiding it until OP finds out herself.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Had he remained a faithful husband he wouldn't have to admit or hide anything from his wife.
mfischer 17
78 - I wholeheartedly agree, and I am not excusing his idiotic behaviour, or even his idiotic backpedalling when he admitted said idiotic behaviour. The fact remains that he and OP are both better off with him admitting his idiocy than attempting to hide it.
CuriousAlien 7
I'm glad you knew better. Damn you can just never trust those secretaries. Make sure next time ( if there is a next time) hire an ugly and boring secretary.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
20- Past FML reference? (:
CuriousAlien 7
Yup. I was hoping some people wouldn't notice though.
Miss_Terri 2
Lol @ op's username. Don't beat yourself up op, your husband is the bitch. Record his confession, serve him with divorce papers base on adultery and reap the benefits. After which, kick him in the balls.
soulebelius 17
**** you! Why the hell do women look for benefits during divorce? I would want to cut ties from someone hurting me, not look for opportunities to cash in on? Does that satisfy your hurt by buying material things?
BellaBelle_fml 23
It's not just women who do that. I know of a lot of men who have done the same thing. Some people, when hurt, look for revenge in one way or another. Wether it be by trying to get every cent possible out of their ex spouse or trying to get sole custody of their children and manipulating their opinion of the other parent.
asleepingbear 8
Don't feel bad it's better then being shot in the face
BellaBelle_fml 23
Let me get this straight, you believe that it is better to have a cheating husband, and a stupid one at that, than to be shot in the face? Although being shot in the face would be extremely painful and sometimes deadly, the pain of knowing that your husband, the man you love more than anyone else, trust completely, and who you have dedicated your love and life to, is cheating on you, is excruciating beyond words.
gracehi 33
I'm sorry, 37, but I have to agree with 23. One can always get a new husband. New faces are harder to come by. Although, that was a random ass thing to say. *sob* "My husband cheated on me!" "Well, at least your face hasn't been disfigured by a gunshot wound." Yeah, I don't think that's much of a lining.
gracehi 33
*silver lining
jelly713 19
I disagree with you 50. I don't think these two situations should even be compared but if I were to compare, I'd agree with 37. The emotional pain caused by heartbreak, cheating, etc, can often be interpreted by our body as physical pain because our emotions are just as powerful as physical pain. Both situations are painful & very different. I don't think they should be correlated at all, no matter what side you're on.
gracehi 33
I agree that they shouldn't be compared, but really? You're telling me you'd rather get shot in the face than get cheated on? Wow. I'm seriously not making this up: I found out my (now ex) husband had an affair from his mistress, who contacted me over face book. Two days later, he was shot in the face by a random stranger. I'm pretty sure I had an easier time of it. My heart has healed, but his shattered jaw will never be the same again.
ayzee_fml 8
So 37, you would rather be shot in the face than cheated on??
Missusluv313 9
Are you crazy? I would much rather be cheated on than shot in the face. It of much more easier to get over that than being disfigured and in pain. Yeah getting cheated on hurts, but you should be able to get over that. There is no comparison.
mowmowlife 21
I disagree with you, sir or mam. In this case, if OP's husband is so ungodly mindless but not ill meaning as to tell his wife that he cheated on her to make her happier, there's an opportunity for healing. Even though it's insane and you might as well dump him for being so mindless to begin with if he wasn't flat out lying. You only come with one face, and as unfair as it is it may lose you any potential husband that might float around.
shamrockgal 4
I just saw the same thing on a tv show, and it turned out ok (in fiction!). Maybe he saw it too. What a dumbass cheater.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Sleep with a divorce lawyer and then inform him you are practicing for him, on more than one level.
perdix 31
This looks like he confessed without being caught. If that's the case, the worst part is that he thought you'd want to know. A smart guy would bring his A-game to the bedroom without telling you his secrets.
perdix 31
Hell, no, I perfected that move with the handstand, the washing machine and the Water Wiggle all by myself.