Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Kids these days…
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year-old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
Genetics
Today, my twin sister gave birth and somehow now weighs less than before she was pregnant. She also has huge boobs now and not a stretch mark in sight. Meanwhile, I’m still carrying an extra 15 pounds, even though I gave birth 5 years ago, and so many stretch marks I look like a fat zebra. FML
Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
Streaky
Today, my 3 year-old saw the stretch marks on my stomach and proudly exclaimed, "Bacon!" After talking with my husband, he admitted that he agreed with our son's evaluation. FML
Oh my damn
Today, my husband saw my vagina for the first time since I gave birth. I know it’s changed down there, and I may not have shaved, but I wasn’t expecting, “Oh my damn, that’s way different.” He wasn’t being mean, he’s too nice to be mean, but “Oh my damn” felt unnecessary. FML
Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML
Assumptions
Today, I was asked why I have stretch marks when I’m skinny. The stretch marks are from when I was recovering anorexic. FML
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Top comments
Tyler_Durden_fml 0
aw, come on, he's just trying to say that he doesn't care if you have strechmarks or not. you should be lucky with a guy like that.
Kathrina_fml 0
I understand about the stretch marks making you feel self conscious. But... 'my little zebra' is really cute. Maybe the tone he said it in wasn't? I'd rather a guy accept all my flaws and make light of them to show me he doesn't care about them than secretly contemplate them. He sounds like he loves you.
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Comments (56)
24788 7
I have stretch marks from when I was fat. I have no good excuse for that. :P
thestupidlamb 0
lmfao number 4! rawr!
dearViena 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA
triplethreat13 0
there's another FML almost exactly like this...but stretch marks aren't something to be proud of, ladies. hope you keep your dignity though
Harpy20 24
Go **** yourself. Let's see your stomach swell with a 7lb+ kid and your body not change one bit. We're all human and none of us are perfect, so you can kindly shut the **** up.
ElizabethNL93 20
I have a daughter, and giving birth to her was an awesome experience. And although I did not obtain too many stretch marks, I love the ones I have because they remind of the beautiful child that came with them.
Dillon13 0
Yeah, me too...And I'm 17
elliekinslurvsya 0
get the hell over it. i've got stretch marks on my hips, my thighs, and my chest, and i'm only 13. damn it sucks being 13 and actually HAVING hips, thighs, and boobs. YOU, on the other hand, OP, probably don't know what the **** it's like dealing with it. what have you got, a few tiny little stretch marks? and seeing as your married and have a kid, you didn't HAVE to deal with that shit when it really mattered, so, again, GET OVER IT.
naehappening 0
you're an idiot. you're thirteen and saying a married woman who's just given birth doesn't know "what the **** it's like dealing with" something. really. grow up.
tastychainsaws 0
Oh yeah because that stuff REALLY mattered when you were thirteen. And trust me when a women gives birth she's going to have more than a "a few tiny little stretch marks" People like you are the reason why I hate teenage girls.
EvenIfItKillsMe 0
this made me laugh. as i'm only a year older than you, i'm not trying to act like a grown up or anything, but that was honestly the stupidest thing i've ever heard. i mean yeah, stretch marks suck, but i'm pretty sure the OP's are worse than yours or any pubescent girl. stuff like that doesn't matter when your 13. unless you're a ****.. but even then it still wouldn't matter. "damn it sucks being 13 and actually HAVING hips, thighs, and boobs," ... what? does the OP not have thighs and hips and boobs? i'm pretty sure she does. so quit being a dumb bitch and GET OVER IT. the stupidity on here makes me wonder about humanity these days.. and OP, feel bad about the stretch marks but congrats on the baby!
Mauskau 36
you are THE biggest retard on earth. I'm thirteen too, I have stretch marks, but some people's stretch marks are so visible they want to cover them up CONSTANTLY. my mum's stomach is covered in stretch marks from having 3 kids, and the skin is stretched so much she can't lose it. the OP has posted this FML because of what her husband said. so don't ******* say they're complaining. you need a reality check. some people care about what they look like when they're older than a teenager. also, if you think having stretch marks now is bad then just wait 'til you get older. you'll have so many more. also guys don't care about them as they have them too. guys wont see them at 13 unless your legs are constantly open.
IWishSometimes 0
Yeah, I'm as old as you. I've met some other people, but never met anyone like you. Quit telling the OP to "get the hell over it" and that she doesn't have to deal with what you have. She kinda has a kid, but okay.
Firesprite2009 0
Darling, you seem to think no-one else goes through it. More than half the world has stretch marks, and the female population ALL know the experience we've had to go through, but really. Your language is atrocious, and you have no right to sit there and look down your nose at the OP. She was expressing her opinion/her husband's opinion on the matter, and she doesn't need a little PMSing bitch sitting there telling her off for being human. Unless you're completely flawless, and are totally perfect, shut your mouth and stop acting like a spoilt little girl. :] &&, OP, Bio Oil gradually fades the redness of the stretch marks so they aren't visible. Congratz with your new addition to the family. :] xx
z620 0
26 ur an idiot and if u have stretch marks that bad and ur 13 that's sad
Anyoniemous 0
And it doesn't really matter if you have stretch marks when your 13? who's going to be looking at your body??
Boomi 39
I hope you don't mean all teenage girls. I personally don't give a flying **** about appearances, and I'm still technically a teen.
Wrathlon 1
Only girls care about stretch marks. I don't know a single guy who actually gives a shit about them.
my_username2313 0
I've had stretch marks since I was 13. on my hips, thighs, boobs, and back of my knees.
bonnieandclyde44 0
hahahha does it work?
z620 0
lmao hahahaha