Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I was saying goodbye to a friend after a long day out. I went for a hug, and as I pulled away, I kissed her on the cheek for some reason. Realising it was an awkward mistake, I pulled back even more and said, "Sorry, I thought you were my mum." She looked at me confused, and we both stood there in complete silence for what felt like hours. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I was walking down the hallway at work when I saw a coworker I hadn't talked to in a while. I went for a high-five as a friendly greeting, but she didn’t see me coming and instead awkwardly grabbed my hand like she was about to hold it. We both froze for a second, and then awkwardly sighed and practically ran away. FML
Today, I went in for an interview with a firm where I'd done some interning before. After shaking hands with both the directors, I went to shake hands with one of the director's wives, who also works there. Turns out she was going for a hug and kiss on the cheek. I ended up kissing her on the lips. FML
Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML
Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML
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Top comments
Redhacked 7
where did you run to if you were at your house? why would you run if you were at your own house? so many questions, such small fml character limits.
Tripartita 45
I considered that, #16, but went ahead and made the joke anyway. It'd be a shame to let reality get in the way of a good—well, almost adequate—joke.
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Comments (57)
Mathalamus 25
nice. maybe tell her that it was a mistake. tactfully.
Tripartita 45
Gotta love the obligatory obvious FML advice. "Tell her" – So throwing paper airplanes at her head with written explanations is out of the question. "tactfully" – And to think OP might've talked in a series of grunts or stood with their back to her, flailing their arms!
Mathalamus 25
actually, doing that might be more fun. once. :P
metalcrazed 21
He might,he did run away before explaning.
holly_fly 34
This is why, on the rare occasions I do stuff like that, I back my neck WWAAAAY back so I can see which way they're going and avoid this. O.O
Tarlachia 33
Makes me think you're a giraffe if you're able to back your neck up waaaaay back lol ;)
holly_fly 34
I promise, I am no giraffe, just flexible. ;) and used to bending my neck in weird ways from swim team O.o XD
Redhacked 7
where did you run to if you were at your house? why would you run if you were at your own house? so many questions, such small fml character limits.
JamesSays 4
I don't see what the problem is.
whysobeachy 37
OP unintentionally kissed someone - probably in front of people.
Aan_Isha_5812 16
Aww lol why'd yu run away tbh i would to lmao but how did u miss her cheek
Soparot 29
If you read the FML, it says exactly how they missed her cheek.
Tripartita 45
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ugh, I can't stand the creepy customs of exotic and isolated *looks at publish location* …Ohio, USA?
whysobeachy 37
Hey, that's exotic for ME.
134jme 8
Maybe they've immigrated there or were brought up with another culture. Just because they live in Ohio, doesn't mean they can't have customs and traditions..
Tripartita 45
I considered that, #16, but went ahead and made the joke anyway. It'd be a shame to let reality get in the way of a good—well, almost adequate—joke.
madscientist_17 15
Haha that's not custom for Ohio. Especially up north. We are cold hearted and freaked out about touching people.
domolovesyoshi 33
So just because they were in Ohio means they can't have their own culture? they could be of a different ethnicity
Indianboy9321 25
It was a joke, as the author of the comment has already started, so relax. Don't be one of those people that immediately takes offense to every little quirk and comment, sheesh!
Lucario227 22
We can get real weird up here in Ohio
ewildawe 9
Cultures don't have national borders.. I know that Arabs have cheek-kissing as a custom, so I'd assume OP was of Arab origin and living in the US. On a side note, good luck with Trump...
PeaceTurtle 17
Though it's typically not a thing in United States culture, there are a lot of different kinds of people with a lot of different kinds of cultures in the melting pot. we're a nation made up of immigrants and Native Americans
Madds16 3
just because OP is from Ohio doesn't mean they were born there or in America. They could be an immigrant or they were raised to greet people that way. My best friend is from South America and when he greets me he kisses me on the cheek because that's his culture. Yes, he was born here.
Tripartita 45
Well, it's the fifth time somebody's posted something like that. Let's see if we can go for six! If anybody needs help, there are already five comments that make the same point. Feel free to draw inspiration from them.
BumpkinsBigBash 8
you look creepy as well
Tripartita 45
Whatever you say, #44. I haven't heard any complaints from the kids I pick up in my van.
CJMajor86 9
Culture =/= location..
Nati9876 10
#6, They aren't creepy. I thought there was something wrong with Americans when I first went there because they don't act like people from my country. I got used to it.
guii_fml 24
You live in ohio what ******* culture
zeffra13 31
A person's culture isn't limited to their residence.
InfiniteSunshine 32
There's a difference between a person's "culture," and the place/country that they live. For example, a person can be Mexican and have the customs of that culture, but still live in a place outside of Mexico, like the United States or a European country. Most people have a different cultural background than the place that they live in.
thatweirdasian 22
The location of where people live doesn't necessary mean that's where they're from... I'm an Asian living in Florida, and I still stick to my Asian cultures lol
zeldah_fml 12
Are you middle eastern? I am, and we do this occasionally. This needs a follow up.
searchr999 14
but you got a kiss! woooooo
nityasomaiya 46
I'd think that if it was your culture, you'd be used to doing so. I wonder how you'd make such a mistake. Maybe she was just pretty and you internally just wanted it....
martucha854 11
Used to kiss in cheeks,not lips.