randomjulz
United States
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Not your maid
Are you kidding me right now?
Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML
Thanks Honey
United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Beaming with pride
Today, my husband came running with his phone to “show me what our son did.” Was it a funny dance video? No. Was it a neat drawing? No. It was a turd. A foot long turd curled up in the toilet bowl. And it came out of our 5 year-old. He’s his daddy’s boy all right. Ew. FML
carrie
Justify My Love
Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML
SuperSleuth
Miami, United States
Hot air
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
For
United States
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Moody blues
Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML
Well, shit
Canada
Hot shit
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Anonymous
Love is…
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
Top comments
YourDone6 8
come see this hairy ******...no.. what kind of husband are you?
ahhhFYL 0
maybe he was hiding your gift in there. so inconsiderate of you.
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Comments (193)
ogplusog 4
Wowzers in the trousers that guy. Delerious in the epiltherious. And shit.
im_so_ninja 0
woo!! fish!!
kev88_fml 0
I would if said the same thing it's a bonding thing he was proud of what he done
ngarcia333 0
there are some things you just gotta keep for yourself
Jamialia 5
Ew. What the ****?
TheJester12 15
I agree , what kind of sorry ass wife are you ? if I have a shit worthy of summoning the attention of Bono I want my wife to give a shit about my accomplishment!
xleanne_aLly 23
my parents do the same thing, except it's my mom yelling for my dad to come look at her shit.
writergirl23 19
seriously ... I have to agree with him. what op doesn't mention probably is that she's always quite nasty to him n they don't get along... hence the comment. it sounded too deep for turd in my opinion.
writergirl23 19
seriously ... I have to agree with him. what op doesn't mention probably is that she's always quite nasty to him n they don't get along... hence the comment. it sounded too deep for turd in my opinion.
Chazyj 4
what kind if wife are you :-(