Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Are you kidding me right now?
Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Beaming with pride
Today, my husband came running with his phone to “show me what our son did.” Was it a funny dance video? No. Was it a neat drawing? No. It was a turd. A foot long turd curled up in the toilet bowl. And it came out of our 5 year-old. He’s his daddy’s boy all right. Ew. FML
Justify My Love
Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML
Hot air
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Moody blues
Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML
Hot shit
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Love is…
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
Top comments
YourDone6 8
come see this hairy ******...no.. what kind of husband are you?
ahhhFYL 0
maybe he was hiding your gift in there. so inconsiderate of you.
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Comments (193)
zxcfghqeop 0
lmao
OfficeNinja 5
is your name Sharon Marsh? spoiler alert - the biggest crap is Bono.
zniltiaC 19
A wife that won't look at her husband's turd.
soulo93 0
does your husband work at a school ?
Lisa89 3
Did I just step into a south park episode? "Sharon, hey Sharon, come look at this."
RockAndRollKiddx 0
LMAO!!! this really made me laugh!
Jadelouiseparkes 4
well... if you can't look at your husbands pop then you are a shitty wife. Stupid woman.
lelizabeth94 0
that's disgusting....
makinobooh 1
pp
makinobooh 1
pp