randomjulz
United States
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Not your maid
Are you kidding me right now?
Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML
Thanks Honey
United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Beaming with pride
Today, my husband came running with his phone to “show me what our son did.” Was it a funny dance video? No. Was it a neat drawing? No. It was a turd. A foot long turd curled up in the toilet bowl. And it came out of our 5 year-old. He’s his daddy’s boy all right. Ew. FML
carrie
Justify My Love
Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML
SuperSleuth
Miami, United States
Hot air
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
For
United States
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Moody blues
Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML
Well, shit
Canada
Hot shit
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Anonymous
Love is…
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
Top comments
YourDone6 8
come see this hairy ******...no.. what kind of husband are you?
ahhhFYL 0
maybe he was hiding your gift in there. so inconsiderate of you.
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Comments (193)
chui281 0
your a bad wife! your husband was trying to open up to you and yet you ignored him and putted him on this site! your a horrible wife!
cbrxcx5790 0
turds are awesome i tell my wife all the time to check out my turds. you only say come check out my turd if its worth checking out. so your husband must have had a good. he proba lybwanted to show you that his turd looked like obama, a piece of shit!
wellnowthatsucks 5
exactly
goliatron 9
A woman should not only bask in the VISUAL glory of her husband's turd, but in the OLFACTORY glory. Take a whiff, hun, or be divorced!
dorkychick 0
lmfao thats hilarious
mamaxony 0
my fiancé talks to me while I do anything on the toilet but calls me creepy if I talk to him when he is peeing. He says it's different cause he stands....
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
If you were my wife, I would have divorced you after that. And then told you to make me a sandwich.
hoopla12345 0
thats gross but funny
ImNoSuperman13 0
your husband sounds like he could be my best friend
VBerryFML 0
hahaha, this just made me laugh out loud. men are brilliant sometimes!
epicepidural 2
just spit in his face why dont ya.. people these days. you all make me sick.