Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said, "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
I love old people. I cannot wait for the day that I am old and can do whatever the **** I want wherever the **** I want.
fakeaccountX 6
When you are confused beyond belief, the fart is the only intelligent response.
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Comments (212)
DanDaDrummah 0
touché grandma, well played
youfailed18 0
What a rockin' grandma!
DjeePee 25
I wonder what your clock look liked.
VinegarStrokes 0
Are all Belgians as weird looking as you? It must be like a comic book just walking down the street!
nerdsgetmehot 23
#72 She's not weird-looking. You obviously get off on being mean to people-- perhaps as a way to make up for your own inadequacies. Do yourself a favor and please stop.
VinegarStrokes 0
You have incredibly mannish hands.
ERICA833 0
vinegar: what is wrong with u? who cares if she's "ugly" or has "mannish hands" at least they have enough confidence to put up a picture!!!
nerdsgetmehot 23
#82 Hahaha. I definitely know that's not true at all.
MuchDance90s 0
what's up with you looking like you're 14 even in rented evening attire
beccusmaximus 0
That's funny, because some dude called me mannish just a few days ago. Teh internets is filled with so many nice people!
TheAdvent 0
damn!!! lol going hard
CakeSlicer 0
Your grandma is hilarious!:)
Jorindaaah 7
I love elderly people who aren't thinking so clear again. They're so funny and presumptuous!
tykiej 0
Your grandma is a gas!!
brewedintexas96 0
^ I'm guessing that this is in reference to the Jews getting gassed and thrown into huge ditch-type graves?
allmidnighteyes 11
Sex Pistols ftw
brewedintexas96 0
oh,,, Hahahahaha. wayyyyyyyyy off.
tallmountain 0
and this is an fml because.....
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
I hope she was wearing her Oops I Crapped My Pants. I am... and I just did :)
redbluegreen 41
You must be new. You deserve it for using the word 'proceeded'.
colombiancartel 0
Doubt OP's becoming an author
alexFYL 11
You don't have to be an author to know how to use words. In fact if Stephanie Meyer is any indication....
colombiancartel 0
I dont read none of her futile books. What i was trying to denote: who gives three ***** if OP "can't use words correctly"
nerdsgetmehot 23
#56 Actually, I give quite a lot of ***** about whether or not OP can correctly utilize words.
colombiancartel 0
Well, shit!, next .time i write' a' 4 page" essay: ill have. you/ ***** proof,read it)'
colombiancartel 0
Next .time i, write a 4 .page essay' 'ill have" you .***** ,proof read it' Do you tutor aswell??
allmidnighteyes 11
At least they didn't mention happy sacks.
colombiancartel 0
My milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard..
FYLwindowlicker 0
#56... 'I don't read none' .... wow, you are right. You 'dont do no' proper English either. Well, if you are from west Virginia then maybe 'ya don't need none edjumakation!'
gabbster95 0
hahahahaha
colombiancartel 0
148, Imbecile im from Colombia.
perdix 31
You should have said "Yes, Grandma, and it's showing how many more days you are going to live."
wwerulez14 6
Hahaha. That might make Grandma cry though.
Astroman129 7
Especially if the time was 1:00.
YaLubluTebya 0
lmao