Today, my grandma told everyone I'm using steroids and amphetamines, all because she mistook my protein powder and vitamin pills for drugs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML
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Top comments
Dilexar 26
Odds are she takes heavier medication than you do.
Welshite 40
Masking drugs in pill form is quite common. No one ever suspects my Vitamin C pills are actually cocaine.
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Comments (20)
Soverain 15
Grandma is the one who knocks.
BloodyGlass 10
"Really, grandma? What about the cocaine and LSD you hide in all of your cooking?"