Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long-distance relationship, and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML
Today, my girlfriend was given an ultimatum by her dad: come back to China and marry the man he picked for her, or stay here at uni with her 'white devil boyfriend' (me) and be shunned by her whole family forever. She chose here for her future career, but I think she resents me for it. FML
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, three teenage punks harassed me spewing made up Chinese. They might've scored a bingo, because a group of royally pissed off Chinese men came and attacked them. The cops arrived and took them, and me, not believing that I wasn't with them. Their evidence: one of punk's phones shows one of them consoling me. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
anglcdvl89 0
So THAT'S how they say hi in China? No wonder that country is overpopulated...they're just a friendly peoples...
wutupbruh 0
does hi mean something weird in chinese?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
cough 0
Gotta love people's lack of respect. Break that dude's face!!!
SimplyIzzie 0
OP: Wow that sucks dude! Kick his ass! #13: You're being an asshole. How the hell is it his fault? Oh I apologize for that. Obviously when you say 'hi' to someone it's in a very specific way. My bad.
Dude_fml 0
be glad he didn't say hi the japanese way ;o
annabananaxx 0
I agree with #18. Perhaps your girlfriend overreacted a bit? Talk to her and your friend, find out exactly what he did before doing anything rash.
likeduhhx4 0
how about you have your fist say hi to his face when you see him.
i_love_sluts 0
# 21 just shut up ya mad gimp
HummingBirdsFly 0
#13: Seriously? I don't think its the OP's fault, or the OP's girlfriends fault. Obviously, he wouldn't know if his college mate would sexually harass his girlfriends fault. He probably assumed that his college mate would just meet his wife out of courtesy. If anything, it's the college mate's fault.
baffledkitten 0
#21 - I realize you're just trying to be funny, but there are less crude ways of doing so. OP - Not knowing the full story, all I can recommend is that you ask your girlfriend exactly what happened. Did she know you knew him? Did she know him? Did he just say "hi," or did he actually harass her? Did he just think he was being friendly and she mistook it for sexual harassment? It's possible she's being a bitch, and it's possible your buddy's a dick, but it's equally possible that there was a misunderstanding. FYL anyway, regardless of which of the possibilities it really is.
nachohuerres 6
I agree finishing number 21's solution was disturbing.
darkmis1 18
Damn! Kick that guys ass!
cartering 0
Is she Chinese? If she actually is chinese, and living in China, then it would be offensive for him to say Hi to her. While its polite in our culture, its very inappropriate in theirs (like how showing elbows isn't thought of twice here, but is considered downright pornographic in some other countries). Now if she's an American living in China, he probably had to do a lot more than just say hi for her to consider it harassment
blkwhtrbbt 0
bull, dude. you can greet young women in china without being charged with sexual harrassment. the culture us not that different in mainstream china than here in th US. please verify your facts before posting something like this. btw, I am Chinese. I would know.