Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long-distance relationship, and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML
Today, my girlfriend was given an ultimatum by her dad: come back to China and marry the man he picked for her, or stay here at uni with her 'white devil boyfriend' (me) and be shunned by her whole family forever. She chose here for her future career, but I think she resents me for it. FML
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, three teenage punks harassed me spewing made up Chinese. They might've scored a bingo, because a group of royally pissed off Chinese men came and attacked them. The cops arrived and took them, and me, not believing that I wasn't with them. Their evidence: one of punk's phones shows one of them consoling me. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
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Top comments
anglcdvl89 0
So THAT'S how they say hi in China? No wonder that country is overpopulated...they're just a friendly peoples...
wutupbruh 0
does hi mean something weird in chinese?
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Comments (135)
Lucy111 0
i would go to china and **** that guy up!
diemoelol 0
#11, Avenue Q, yesss!
omigod 0
i feel u, man. it's hard to keep ur byatch in line in a long distance relationship.
mahi_fml 0
that's disgusting. she should screw him. no pun intended.
floresntadolecnt 0
Maybe the friend did just say hi and give her a hug or something, and she didn't know him so she thought it was creepy?
derriduh 0
People like that are just trying to exert power by behaving like violating douche bags. You have every right to be pissed, but don't let this freakshow get the better of you. HE'S the one with the psychological problem, right?
ChelseaChops 1
Itn't it more your mate who's fml it is? After all, you're just the douche who made him say it.
mzmaverickd 7
Why don't you find out what happened first before you jump to any conclusions... Ask them both the whole story and then either beat the crap out of your "friend" or explain to your gf.
hazezz 0
Go hard body on that nigga!!!!
dabub0wnz 0
Where I'm from, that ain't much a hi