Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I discovered that have large "parts" is not all it's cracked up to be, when the girl of my dreams broke up with me because, and I quote, "We tried everything and it just won't fit." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
And her personality.
tipsy2013 24
you must be a show-er, not a grow-er
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
olpally 33
Dump her, that's pretty shallow and harsh to say to a guy. She doesn't appreciate you obviously.
vlalam 24
Doesn't she want to stay with u for long term? How could she say such things?
QXR2 14
At least she said it was colossal.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Yeah colossal disappointment. Big difference there.
LisaDay 14
she is fine with his size, even impressed. she is disapponted with his skill. you need to get more practice and learn how to please her and you won't ever hear anything like that again :)
brandoneyez1 25
And she is one of those disappointments. Thought she might have more class.
Qwermy 16
Hey, it may be a disappointment, but it's still "colossal". Just learn to use it better, and she'll no longer be disappointed. her personality may take a bit more work than that though
skittyskatbrat 19
It's like seeing her without makeup...make sure to point that out. And then find someone who is less of a bitch. You could pretty much pick any other gal in your school or university and be trading up!!!!
vietmanx 10
Be better at sex. Your fault.
killinpoptarts 9
Not sure if that was a compliment on size and a disapproval on performance or a disapproval of both
vikky538 29
tell her that there are some things that are "proportional" to the amount of effection she shows on you..