Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my partner called me from urgent care because his jaw was hurting. Apparently he now has lockjaw from going down on me too much. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML
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Top comments
MyLifeAintThatBad 10
did you go to the hospital?? honest question
Donut_Wizard 23
This sounds like the start of a new sitcom.
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Comments (12)
Ricrad 11
Sounds like something out of an American Pie movie.
AJ1981 12
A tear came to my eye while reading this hopefully you weren't involuntary circumcised