Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my partner called me from urgent care because his jaw was hurting. Apparently he now has lockjaw from going down on me too much. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML
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Top comments
MyLifeAintThatBad 10
did you go to the hospital?? honest question
Donut_Wizard 23
This sounds like the start of a new sitcom.
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Comments (12)
MyLifeAintThatBad 10
did you go to the hospital?? honest question
Donut_Wizard 23
This sounds like the start of a new sitcom.
coolmike699 26
Cockjaw. Coming this fall!
jfsiv 17
pics or it didn't happen.
rgetting 24
How did that come out?
vandj8 9
Painfully?
RichardPencil 32
That sucks.
LeoCor 19
Kinky
dedanjel 33
How did your girlfriend "suddenly" come down with tetanus?
mitolit 12
Lockjaw can be caused by many things... MDMA especially, as well as some other diseases besides tetanus.
dedanjel 33
It's just the better known name for infection with the clostridium tetani bacteria. I've literally never heard it used in association with anything else. And I use literally in the original sense, not the one they had to add to the dictionary to make up for the people that used it in place of metaphorically
mayalee713 7
Or TMJ? My sister will be eating like normal when out of nowhere her jaw will lock in place or pop loudly (and painfully). It doesn't happen daily or even weekly but when it does happen she just has to let it pass.
Zanquis 22
Sounds like a lot of BS to me, at the very least a big portion of exaggeration is in place... It means that the whole time basically your penis should be staying erect, that is a long time to stay up while in pain unless you get off on that...
Minuet Stephens 3
A man says he just had the worst ******* ever. His mate asks - "How was it?" He replies "Bloody fantastic!" (But yes, if she was clamped down to the point he couldn't get out when soft then he would have serious damage after an hour....)
willmc18 5
Sounds like what happened in the movie "The Sweetest Thing" only in that instance it was a piercing causing the problem...
UDIRTYMUFFINS 8
how long did you have her there to begin with for her to get lock jaw...? must not be that good lol