Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, my girl likes to wear my boxers around the house but she was in a pair I’d not seen before. I asked her and she went all quiet and guilty looking. Dudes, I literally caught my girlfriend in another man’s drawers. It would be tragic but right now it’s just too funny. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.
Mightyrif 23
Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!
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Comments (85)
confushon 12
You should be married before sex.
GetaVe 11
I think you mean, weenie.
thenielsens 12
You should probably make your **** more interesting like tie a little bow tie around the head and put a top hat on it...don't forget your monocle ;) just don't get too weird with it..
greeneyedx 23
The first time you saw her breasts did you compliment them or anything? I mean, ladies have boobs and guys have penises. It's nothing new. I think the only thing people *should* say about the matter is that they like whatever parts their s/o has, as to please their partner (or if they really do!).
DemonBoy1988 22
LMFAO
Nobinx 15
why should a girl be impressed by a ****?! they all look gross. i'd be impressed if the guy gives me a great ******
ifuckuprandomly 28
Don't worry if your dick isn't impressive, your tongue can make her feel like £1000000 if used right.
shannon2348 14
I hate to break it to you but cocks really aren't that impressive. ydi