Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
Today, and over the years, my wife has methodically destroyed our house, insisting she is good at DIY. Our house is either in bits, half-finished or falling apart. I had it confirmed by a realtor, who assessed the house as worth 100 grand less than we paid for it. It’s a building site with a roof. FML
Today, I bought a somewhat rundown house and started working on restoring it, cutting the grass, and doing exterior work. People from the neighborhood have asked me to stop, saying I'm "gentrifying" and "erasing the neighborhood character." I wasn't aware neglect and graffiti counted as character. FML
Today, my partner and I went to the inspection of a house we wanted to buy. The whole roof was illegal. This is the second time our realtor has shown us a house with major issues. FML
Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML
Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
Today, my boss explicitly told me to demolish a half-built house that was 50 feet too far from where it should have been and was actually on someone else’s land. I knocked it down, then it turned out to be the wrong one, and my boss threw me under the bus and swore he’d told me to demolish the other house. FML
Today, we lost our dream house because the current owner heard us discussing our plans to landscape the massive back garden, and she decided she couldn’t sell to someone who planned to rip out all the flowerbeds she spent years cultivating. Why sell the house then, selfish cow? FML
Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My boss's daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much that she made an offer on the house. We were one week away from making an offer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jentrynicole 20
Time to find a new realtor and get a second opinion. Maybe you just need someone who is actually willing to help you find ways to sell your house, not someone who isn't willing to work with you and make it better. That's assuming that your house actually isn't something that needs to be bulldozed with a little work.
Nathan_R 10
You can't polish turd, no matter how hard you try
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (36)
Nathan_R 10
You can't polish turd, no matter how hard you try
Earths_Venus 25
You need to watch more Mythbusters.
Lct1196 31
Actually, people manage to polish various animal turds and it turns out quite well.
AlexOrban 17
#Inspired
ThrottleJockey 36
Myth Busters proved that you actually CAN polish a turd.
mackdeezy 22
The way i heard the quote is that although you can polish a turd, in the end it's still a turd.
pageanator2000 11
A polished turd is still a turd no matter how shiny it is.
claudiajean 24
But you can roll it in glitter
jentrynicole 20
Time to find a new realtor and get a second opinion. Maybe you just need someone who is actually willing to help you find ways to sell your house, not someone who isn't willing to work with you and make it better. That's assuming that your house actually isn't something that needs to be bulldozed with a little work.
Xcizer 17
Guess you could say your house looked pretty *puts on glasses* homely. YEEEEAAAAH!!!
AlexOrban 17
That was amazing 1 thumbs up for you (edit) emojis don't work ;(
tupe_fml 15
What the ****
Earths_Venus 25
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
AlexOrban 17
But wait, if trash is treasure than what is trash? -InspirationQuotes2k16
Earths_Venus 25
Your spelling, apparently.
Xcizer 17
Boi
AverageAvarice 23
L
Beckei 18
I would definitely find another realtor! Don't let that one get the commission with an attitude like that...
superlloyd 15
what commission? the realtor isn't after money. there would be no house after all...
jocamo 24
sometimes an empty lot is worth more
kirkaygri 18
Empty lots are always worth lot more if it's in the right neighborhood than a lot with an unwanted building on it. It's hard to get a house bulldozed, inspectons, permits, the actual cost of having it torn down, and then you have to pay to have everything removed and got forbid there be lead or asbestos in the house; if there is, it costs thousands and thousands to be disposed of.
kingdomgirl94 29
Now is it because of the way it looks or because it's structurally unsound? One is kind of rude, the other is an issue of wear and tear and safety.
bad_boyfriend 10
Get a new realtor
Sir_Cow 17
Could be a ton of problems with some installations or some thing.
faifai_fml 21
My parents (who are pushing 70) live in a house that hasn't been renovated since my stepmother grew up there 60 years ago. You can only get 30 seconds of hot water from the showers, the toilets are stained black, and the whole place smells like mildew. They don't see anything wrong with it and don't understand why they should renovate when they're ready to move into a retirement community.
kirkaygri 18
There are people who would jump at a house like that. I'm one of them. The more original the better. I'll work around the issues until I get exactly like what I want. I'd love a house that's almost pristine 50's. They're called time capsules and sought after in some markets.