Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
Today, after spending over a year getting clean and sober, I started feeling horrible withdrawal symptoms and couldn't understand why. It turns out my wife had been dosing my food with Adderall "to keep me on track" and just stopped. So much for my anniversary chip. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I play video games. No, not that I play too many video games or have an addiction to video games. Just that I play them, period. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Corn chip addiction is some serious shit.
crankawank 19
It's nice to know that you care about her enough to do that, though. You're much better than all the douchebag boyfriends usually featured on FML.
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Comments (141)
olpally 33
Tobacco is terrible and she should quit that.. But not the corn chips, especially if they're laced with pieces of bacon! idk if that's possible to lace bacon with corn chips, but it's an awesome idea.
KiddNYC1O 22
Too much sodium.
chellyX92 8
I think OP knows that she needs to quit....thanks.
TheNewGuy03 29
I think we should all lace #26 with bacon-flavored corn chips.
chocolatepandas 2
Well, you know what they say. Corn chips are the gateway chip.
b0ngs 7
Next comes tostitos and before you can realize the severity, Extreme Doritos. Such a sad thing really.
TheJester12 15
Don't tell me you've eaten just "one" corn chip before . Cornchips are just non cancerous tasty crunchy yellow versions of cigarettes .
laurenlovesjb 20
Good for her if she wants to stop eating corn chips. But if you want her to quit tobacco, just talk to her and ask her. If she's supportive of you and cares about what you want, then she'll seriously think it over. Also, it's hard to quit, so be patient. When my dad quit, he was in cold sweats and in a terrible mood for weeks. So support her, and talk about it!
perdix 31
Often addicts find it easier to swap one addiction for another instead of just dropping the one. Perhaps you can up your game and get her into a raging sex addiction ;)
TheJester12 15
I tried that once ..... My partner got so addicted that she started to chaff and eventually I couldn't grab multiple bags of corn chips as my hand was so bandaged up....Oh wait I probably should of started with that information .
vladmire 4
More corn chips for you :D
coughyochick 7
Lays addiction is also hard to break
supportcommand 17
Fritos are better.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Doritos are best.
Welshite 40
It's fantastic that you support her in her attempt to quit. Even if it's just corn chips, having someone there who cares is a godsend. When I quit cold turkey with my addiction to prescription drugs (they were misprescribed) my parents couldn't have cared less. Just support her and perhaps she'll move on to her nicotine addiction.
lonelyisland23 3
should have asked
b0ngs 7
Well one would assume it would be tobacco seeing as *ahem* corn chip addiction is...uncommon? unheard of? ahh screw it
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I think corn chips smell worse than tobacco. But if she can give up corn chips, then I think she can give up smoking. I know smoking is addicting, but it does a lot worse to you.