Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
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Top comments
diesel42o 0
she owned u on that one
sam_stalker 0
op she didn't think it was sexy, she did it for revenge >=~}
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Comments (370)
rrawrrrachel 0
that's a bit gross . haha.
sexyredhead8 0
funny girlfriend :)
Petunia888 13
Bitch move on her part. Just sayin'.
gabzterz_15 0
haha that's pretty funny ;)
lampire 0
use protection front and back
yukiandmisfit 1
now just wait a bit every time she thinks about this incident shell let you know about it and sometimes random people that are around and even imitate the sound and maybe even the movement atleast my girl does :( lol
yukiandmisfit 1
now just wait a bit every time she thinks about this incident shell let you know about it and sometimes random people that are around and even imitate the sound and maybe even the movement atleast my girl does :( lol
LiveLauglove 0
I wanna like what your girlfriend said :D that made my day,
raspberryboo 10
ima do that to my bf so he will stop tryin to get anal. seriously though i dont see what would be good about anal every time my b.f trys it, it hurts like hell
raspberryboo 10
i dont know if id have the courage to stick my finger up my b.fs butt. what if he didnt wipe correctly.